IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent do you agree with this? How do you think space exploration will change in the future?

#people #space #exploration #pride #effort #change #future
It is often believed that
space
 travelling outer
space
 will benefit the country reward in worldwide rather than collaborating with intercontinental countries. I do believe that it would be better if the authority of a lot of countries
cooperate
Change the verb form
cooperates
show examples
 with each other to work for quality.
This
 essay will discuss how
international
Add an article
the international
show examples
 effort will be economically profitable and modern technologies’ effect on
future
Add an article
the future
show examples
 altering of
space
exploration
.
To begin
 with, planetary
exploration
 has become a hot potato these days and international collaboration is likely to be more productive. What I mean here is that there will be
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
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 investors to simplify the work and fund research organisations. To illustrate, providing astronauts with
necessary
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the necessary
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 equipment and food might be implemented by enormous funding and avoid
exploration
 be failed.
That is
 why international collaboration is more profitable in comparison with having national pride.
Furthermore
,
investigation
Correct article usage
the investigation
show examples
 of
galaxy
Add an article
the galaxy
a galaxy
show examples
 is likely to be changed by various inventions in simplifying worries. Some predict that warp technology founding may help people in exploring light-years, making travels between planets in
solar
Correct article usage
the solar
show examples
 system common.
Nevertheless
,
the
Change the article
a
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 big number of spaceships plays a crucial role in overcoming fantastic distances. To sum up, even a small amount of national pride can disrupt cooperation and make barriers
for
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 international efforts.
Thus
,
space
exploration
 is being gradually evolved and be easier to investigate as a sequence of involved efforts
such
 as money.
In addition
 in the
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
 positive aspect of modern technology will be noticed in
improvement
Add an article
the improvement
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 of
space
exploration
.
Submitted by bekeyeva_a on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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