IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think spending a lot on birthdays and marriage celebration is a waste of money but others think it is important to the young people and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #birthdays #marriage #celebration #waste #money #society
A few people opine that squandering money on birthday parties and wedding ceremonies is a sheer waste of resources, whereas others believe that it is pertinent for social development. I intend to discuss both views in the subsequent paragraphs followed by my own opinion. On the one hand, those who favour the former notion assert that spending too much on these
occasions
 can put extra pressure on the pockets of the individuals, which in turn can lead to stress among them. It is primarily due to the fact that once the money is spent frequently on the celebrations by the average earning citizens, it becomes very difficult to manage the expenses for them. Owing to
this
 situation, sometimes, they resort to lending money from friends and banks which even
further
 aggravate the problem after failing to return the debt. As a consequence, they might have to bear the stress, thereby affecting their mental state in a negative way.
On the other hand
, proponents of the former notion claim that these get-togethers are imperative for the development of the social life of the people.
In other words
, these moments can give chances for friends and relatives to get some time from their mundane routine to interact with their loved ones. If these
occasions
 are not celebrated regularly, it generally becomes impossible to get time from their busy life and work, which can result in an isolated society having negative implications.
Therefore
, celebrating these
occasions
 serves an important purpose in the development of a stable society. In my perspective, enjoying these
occasions
 plays a significant role in sustaining happiness among the people by making them more sociable in these moments.
However
, it is
also
 very important that spending should be done according to one’s own capacity, which should not imbalance the finances. To conclude, even though birthday parties and marriage functions cost to the individuals, I still believe that these
occasions
 are conducive for them in terms of making them more social as long as they avoid overspending on these parties without affecting their budgets.
Submitted by harkiratsingh.tu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: