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The mark of a successful person is to be wealthy and have a successful career.  To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#mark #person #career
Some
people
 believe that being wealthy and having a successful career is the mark of a successful
person
. I tend to strongly disagree with
this
 idea. Having extensive monetary means certainly allows for a luxurious 
life
 , and accumulating professional achievements definitely provides a social status
that is
 rarely obtained
otherwise
. Most would argue that luxury and social status are what everyone dreams of
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and that they are crucial to being able to live a fulfilling
life
. For
this
 reason, we can testify
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 how many
people
 are willing to walk the extra mile to become successful, famous and respected.
As a result
, numerous
people
 focus their day-to-day on achieving these
,
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apply
show examples
 and leave other aspects of their
life
 aside. I,
however
, am of the opinion that money and professional success don’t make someone successful in
life
. Examples of
people
 that were wealthy and well regarded in their fields but decided to end their lives after struggling with depression or personal problems are not uncommon.
There’s
Change the verb form
There are
show examples
 many more relevant aspects that form a
person
 and that are essential to really being successful as an individual and as a part of society. In that sense, the positive impact that someone has
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other
people
’s lives,
such
 as family and friends, and the consequences that
this
 influence creates, are what can decidedly make a
person
 successful at being human, which is the true measure of success. In conclusion,
although
 wealth and a successful career can be
mostly
Replace the word
most
show examples
 beneficial to what a
person
 can have access to in
life
, they’re not the mark of success.
On the other hand
, having a positive influence on others and being able to leave a profound mark is.
Submitted by agenciabrushup on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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