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Writing Samples
Band 6

The internet is a great invention that brings a host of advantages for the world population. However, there are several issues in terms of security and control of personal data. Do you agree or disagree with this?

#internet #invention #host #world #population #terms #security #control #data
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The issue of the
internet
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's position in modern life has sparked a heated debate among many. It is widely argued that the
internet
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 has created a tremendous amount of opportunities and benefits, but
this
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 notion is not without its critics.
While
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 some people prefer to narrow
down
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it down
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 to only positive effects, their proponents prefer to elaborate on
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
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 and dangers of using the
internet
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. I am firmly of the belief that both sides have reasons to discuss. On the one hand, it is undeniable that we hardly imagine our daily routine without
internet
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 usage. Modern technologies have permeated at all levels starting from casual communication through mobile
internet
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 and searching
a
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for a
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new job and finishing up with completely new
phenomenon
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phenomena
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such
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 as artificial intelligence, social media and
On the other hand
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, there are a few problems we can obtain.
Firstly
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,
due to
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 the lack of security, we can face a huge personal protection problem. We constantly see the news about how our sensitive personal data was stolen by hackers and sold to people who can blackmail us.
Secondly
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, using social media could lead to some psychological issues
such
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 as fear of missing out and social anxiety.
Overall
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, the
internet
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 stands as a pivotal element in modern existence, weaving through the fabric of our daily lives and offering both immense benefits and significant challenges.
While
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 it opens doors to vast opportunities and advancements in communication, employment, and technology, it
also
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 presents considerable risks related to privacy, security, and mental health.
Submitted by juliashipovskaja on

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Task Achivement
Consider defining the internet's impact with more specific and varied examples to strengthen your argument. This will provide a clearer and more detailed perspective on the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to complete your sentences and thoughts for a stronger impact. For instance, your paragraph on the benefits of the internet ends abruptly.
Task Achievement
Explore and name more diverse sources or studies to back up your statements, particularly when discussing the risks associated with internet use such as privacy concerns and psychological issues.
Task Achievement
Your essay successfully addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the internet, showcasing a balanced view.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of your essay, with clear introductory and concluding paragraphs, efficiently guides the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
Your use of specific issues related to internet use, such as security breaches and social media's psychological effects, provides a solid basis for your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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