Some people claim that what people eat in many Western countries is unhealthy and that their diet is getting worse .Critics say that these countries should change their diet. What are your opinion on this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that Western
styles
Verify preposition usage
ofstyles
show examples
cuisine can
treaten
Correct your spelling
threaten
treat
people
Use synonyms
's health as well as getting worse. The answer to
this
Linking Words
question can vary depending on each individual's perspective. As far as I am concerned, I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
given statement because of several reasons.
First
Linking Words
and foremost,
people
Use synonyms
who obtain
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Western food are more likely to be obesity. As the food made by Western contain high calorie be allowed
people
Use synonyms
to be exposed to a variety of disease.
Furthremore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, many
people
Use synonyms
have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
unhealthy eating habits and their health
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
worse. When I used to live in
Austraila
Correct your spelling
Australia
, I lived in a homestay
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
owned by Western
people
Use synonyms
. they gave me breakfast every morning including bread,
hambergar
Correct your spelling
hamburger
and pizza. Since
then
Linking Words
, I got
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more 20pounds my weight. In
this
Linking Words
regard,
people
Use synonyms
who eat
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Western style's food including high calorie are more likely to be
obesity
Replace the word
obese
show examples
than those who do not. To summarize what I have mentioned above, I am for the notion that one of the most important things is that having
a
Change the article
an
show examples
unhealthy eating habit can lead
people
Use synonyms
to be exposed to
diverse
Add an article
the diverse
show examples
disease.
Submitted by dudgnsqufaud on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: