IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is contended that governments should invest more of their
money
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 in railways
instead
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 of
roads
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. I strongly agree with
this
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 statement as using
money
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 on
roads
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 has its drawbacks and
this
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 measure encompasses the potential to improve the environment.
Firstly
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, building a rail transport system encourages people to use public transport more often
instead
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 of private
vehicles
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.
This
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 reduces the amount of
vehicles
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such
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 as cars, trucks and motorbikes on the road. One of the many contributors to pollution is
vehicles
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 as
such
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.
For instance
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, the engines of these automobiles release harmful gases
such
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 as sulphur dioxide which contributes to poor air quality, affecting the health of many people.
In addition
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, fewer automobiles on the road reduce traffic congestion, especially during peak hours.
This
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 makes it easier for people to reach their destination in a punctual manner.
Furthermore
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, it is expensive to maintain and build
roads
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. With many
vehicles
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 and traffic,
roads
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 eventually wear out,
therefore
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, they need to be rebuilt or re-polished.
For example
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,
due to
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 the hot weather and a greater proportion of private
vehicles
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 being used in my country, potholes are very common and often have to be patched up. In the long run, the maintenance of these
roads
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 costs more
money
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 than building a railway, causing the government to ignore other important issues. In conclusion, I believe that governments should spend
money
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 on building railways rather than
roads
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due to
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 the prospect that pollution in the environment can be minimised. On top of that, constructing railway systems encompasses a greater benefit in the long run as it is more cost-efficient.

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task achievement
Strengthen your examples by providing more specific data or case studies to support your argument.
coherence cohesion
Each main point could be elaborated further with more details or subpoints to enhance the argument.
task achievement
Your essay clearly states a position and supports it with reasons, demonstrating a strong task response.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument, providing a clear start and finish.
coherence cohesion
The essay flows logically with linked ideas and paragraphs, demonstrating good coherence and cohesion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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