IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Why do some people who leave school early are more successful compared with those who complete their studies. Give reasons why they are more successful and what is required to be successful ?

#people #school #studies
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In today's competent era everyone want to become more
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
in
Verify preposition usage
at
show examples
 early
age
Use synonyms
. some people deem that if they moved out
from
Verify preposition usage
of
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school
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their early
age
Use synonyms
 they can get more achievements that the others who want to finish their study. In my following paragraphs, I would list reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 prospective and
also
Linking Words
neccesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 requirements to be a successful
person
Use synonyms
 in life.
Firlty
Correct your spelling
Thirty
, most of the folks leave
school
Use synonyms
 early because they think they can devote that time to find a
jod
Correct your spelling
job
 rather than
continous
Correct your spelling
continuous
 study. More time they spend
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
distebuting
Correct your spelling
distributing
 their resume and having some interviews.
Moreover
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, if they start doing
job
Add an article
the job
a job
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in
Change preposition
at
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young
Add an article
a young
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age
Use synonyms
 they will get some high
postions
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positions
 in their eighteens.
For instance
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,
in
Change preposition
apply
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last
Linking Words
 year a survey was conducted in which they showed almost 80%
bussiness
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business
 are running by the youth and
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of
Correct pronoun usage
them are
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are
Correct your spelling
our
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 senior citizens.
Secondly
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, they have
alot
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a lot
lot
 os energy to do struggle and they are able to reach out
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different
diffrent
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to diffrent
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 companies for jobs. As
competion
Correct your spelling
competition
 is increasing day by day , they like to queue them in it
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Verify preposition usage
at
show examples
 early
age
Use synonyms
,while others are
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
standing
 at that moment.
Lastly
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, they are able to get more experience in small
age
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 as compared to those who finish their
school
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 late.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, there are enormous of qualities that are vital to be successful in life, a
person
Use synonyms
 should be optimistic
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 so that if any failer
occure
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occur
occurs
 they can deal with it and have
spirit
Add an article
the spirit
a spirit
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 to start their struggle again.
In addition
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, a
person
Use synonyms
 should have proficient skills that are able to
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
 him/her from
another individuals
Replace the adjective
another individual
other individuals
show examples
.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of skills are like time management, leadership, creative thinking etc. To sum up, I personally think it good to leave
school
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 early and find
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 in most
compitent
Correct your spelling
competent
 world.
Hence
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,
experience
Add an article
the experience
show examples
 is
a
Change the article
the
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 most top priority by executive organisations. It is better to get practical work rather than just having knowledge of theory. To be
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
, a
person
Use synonyms
 should be
hard working
Correct your spelling
hardworking
show examples
, because without hard work nothing can happen.
Submitted by kaurranjeet835 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Self-made
  • Entrepreneur
  • Innovative
  • Real-world experience
  • Practical skills
  • Networking
  • Credentials
  • Dedication
  • Motivation
  • Risk-taking
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