Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education and every school should include them in its syllabus. Do you agree or disagree with this statement. Give you opinion and examples from your own experience.

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Art is an essential part of education,it will help to develop the creative thinking of each
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children's

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childrens
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children's

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mind.I completely agree that extracurricular activities must be a part of academics.
This
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essy
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essay

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will discuss the advantages of extracurricular activities in
scholers
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scholars

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life.
firstly
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,in
this
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modern academic system
kids
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are overstressed with studies and they are competing not with their neighbourhood
kids
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,
apparently
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,apparently

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they are competing in
global
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the global
a global

The noun phrase global village seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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village.In
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

educational system
certainly
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,certainly

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kids
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need some relaxation
periodes
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periods
period

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,it can help to find out the hidden talents
belngs
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belongs

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to children.Each child
is differ
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differs

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from
each
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the

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other
Correct pronoun usage
others

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they would have multiple capabilities because every kid is not active in academics some
kids
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would be more interested in
the
Correct article usage
apply

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sports,music and
arts
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such
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as acting,dancing and drama.
For
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instance
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,instance

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some schools are conducting cultural programmes every academic year.Teachers are finding the talents in children and they are making them
to
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apply

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develop their activities.
Eventually
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,Eventually

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the
students
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student's
students'

It appears that the word students should use the genitive case. Consider changing the noun.

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confidence level will improve to perform in front of
audience
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an audience
the audience

The noun phrase audience seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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as well as they can do the best in
thier
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their

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academics as well.
Secondly
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,various types of
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arts
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art

It appears that the noun arts is being used as an adjective, but you may have chosen incorrectly between the singular and plural form. Consider changing the noun form.

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performances will lead the children to become famous celebrities in
thier
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their
the

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future.
For example
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the famous Indian actor Amitab Bachan,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply

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become encouraged by his teachers in his
school
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.He was a
fully
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full

The word fully doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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study oriented
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study-oriented

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kid when he was in primary
school
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.One day his class teacher conducted a small drama in his class
periode
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period
periods

The word periode is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

.The little Bachan has been
showed
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showing
shown

It appears that the verb showed should be in a participle form for the present perfect continuous tense. Consider changing the verb form.

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incredible performance.Later
on
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,on

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he started t perform in every
school
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dramas,gradually he started to act in public dramas.At
present
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,present

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he is a
well known
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well-known

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actor in the world.
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Linking Words

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Moreover
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,Moreover

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he motivated many youngsters through his films with his stainless
perforamances
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performances
performance

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in Indian movies.Not only one person created the history but
also
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there are many
well known
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well-known

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people become started
thier
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their

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carriers from the
school
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level. To summarise,there are uncountable advantages
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can

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be seen from
arts
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and
musics
Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music

It appears that musics is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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.In my point of view
definitely
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,definitely

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the
arts
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should be an academic subject from the primary class onwards.It will help abundantly to our future generation.Every
talents
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talent

The singular quantifier Every is followed by the plural noun talents. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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has
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have

The singular verb has does not appear to agree with the plural subject talents. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to appreciatable
furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

art is a divine process and the artists are blessed by almighty.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Curricula
  • Foster creativity
  • Emotional development
  • Cultural awareness
  • Global citizenship
  • Historical perspectives
  • Enhance academic performance
  • Communication
  • Employability
  • Soft skills
  • Problem-solving
  • Mental health
  • Stress reduction
  • Cultural appreciation
  • Diverse cultures
  • Interdisciplinary
  • Self-expression
  • Holistic education
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