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Band 4

The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time.

#rise #world’s #population #humanity #time
Global
population
 rising is often viewed as being caused by
development
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the development
show examples
 of technologies and
as a result
 increasing of
level
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the level
show examples
 of
people
 lives. The essay agrees that
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
show examples
 of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 is the biggest problem for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity nowadays.
Firstly
,
this
 essay will describe how the rise of
population
 leads to
tremendous
Correct article usage
a tremendous
show examples
 increasing in
garbage
 production and
then
, talk about
lack
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a lack
the lack
show examples
 of
food
 in the world.
First
,
garbage
 is an integral part of human activity. Almost
each
Change the determiner
every
show examples
 country, even developed ones, faced
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the critical problem of restoring or recycling
garbage
. Increasing in
people
population
 is leading to
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of
such
 industries activities as
food
 production, packaging, buildings, machinery, and others. To say it
in other words
, it is
new tons
Correct your spelling
newtons
show examples
 of waste daily. BBC broadcasts the statistic data regarding destructive human activity which has
adverse
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an adverse
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 impact on the environment. Based on their numbers, by 2050 the weight of plastic waste in the global ocean will exceed the weight of all water
habitant
Correct your spelling
habitat
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 together. Sadly, but today’s stable increasing
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 industrial
garbage
 just proves
this
 BBC’s forecast.
Second
, the more
population
 is the more
food
 is required. Even with developed technologies in agriculture and
food
 processing, the
people
 can not produce as much
food
 as they.
Replace the word
Their
show examples
There
Add an article
The there
show examples
 best example here, in my opinion, is African countries which suffer from the lack of
food
. Developed countries as European, the USA, and others do their best and try to cover these basic
food
 needs for African
people
, but it is not possible even at the present time as all fertile soils together are not capable to provide all
people
 in the world with sufficient amount of
food
. In
sum
Add a comma
,sum
show examples
 the essay showed,
weather
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
 it is extra
garbage
 producing or
food
 needs,
population
 rise in the world is the sharpest problem for humanity today.
Submitted by red-sonya5 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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