Pocket Money should be given to children. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Money

management has become an important issue among youngsters. Some insist that parents should give children

money

for allowances. I completely agree with the above as it gives kids financial freedom and allows them to be independent in prioritising choices but there are some dangers that cannot be ignored.

Firstly

money

Add an article

the money

show examples

given as allowance to

juvenilles

Correct your spelling

juveniles

allows financial freedom and educates them on

money

management skills. To elaborate, wisely spending

money

is an essential quality which needs to be taught right from a tender age and

this

could effectively be accomplished by giving some weekly allowances.

This

empowers kids to carefully spend

money

on essential requirements.

Moreover

other

Change the wording

another

show examples

major benefit is

money

can be used in situations of emergency.

For example

, in cases

such

as a transport strike

money

can be effectively used to commute in taxis or private transport.

Hence

, it is

nescessary

Correct your spelling

necessary

for parents to allocate pocket

money

as weekly expenses.

On the other hand

, youngsters with mentally

imbalanaced

Correct your spelling

imbalanced

and partially matured mindsets might face

diffculties

Correct your spelling

difficulties

. By

this

, I, mean that kids at a tender age may fall into traps of bad company and get addicted to illicit substances

such

alochol

Correct your spelling

alcohol

, drugs.

This

poses danger to the mental abilities in later stages of life.

For instance

, a recent survey by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

experts from a reputed agency has concluded that

money

mismanagment

Correct your spelling

mismanagement

has lead to the rise of drug addict problems in most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teenagers.

Therefore

, an alarming rise in numbers

has

Add the particle

tohas

show examples

lead to a growing concern in the

socities

Correct your spelling

societies

. In conclusion, despite concerns of

money

mismanagement has contributed to

Add an article

the rise

a rise

show examples

rise

Change the verb form

rising

show examples

in figures of harmful activities it is considered

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

imperative that allowances

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

some

postive

Correct your spelling

positive

aspects.

Submitted by karthikaare27 on Wed Mar 10 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The Economic process has been a one of significant topics for governments and their nations for years. The governments think that the growth of economic progress is a priority key factor for development together with this idea they think It must be first issue to countries. A group of people believe that the other titles for instance health system, education and law issues must find a same golden place in progress which is prepared by politicians. I am a supporter of the first view. In the following parts, I will try to explain why I think like that.
7
band
Some people believe that mobile phone is destroying social interaction. Do you agree or disagree?
Many consider that cell phones are affecting in negative ways such as social communication. This essay partially agrees with this statement, because it has some benefits such as staying in touch with families and friends wherever a person is, and at the same time it can be a dangerous distraction in social life.
7.5
band
Relationship-building and share learning Chevening is looking for individuals with strong professional relationship-building skills, who will engage with the Chevening community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession. Please explain how you build and maintain relationships in a professional capacity, using clear examples of how you currently do this, and outline how you hope to use these skills in the future.
I strongly believe that the key to having good professional relationships is collaboration. The way I seek to build good relationships is by contributing as much as possible to solving or helping my peers to execute their activities. I do this through three steps: first by observing the environment as a whole and analyzing where I can contribute, second by seeking the necessary knowledge and developing new skills with the use of appropriate tools, and third by making myself available to learn and gain the trust of my colleagues.
4.5
band
With growing populations in cities, more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Indubitably ,a large number of the population in cities live in houses with little or no courtyard space. Even Though, a segment of society seeks it as a positive development, however, I will elucidate my opinions in the upsurging paragraphs.
5
band
Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Life imprisonment is both supported and refuted by a majority groups of people, whenever criminal acts take place. These two views are discussed before a position is declared.

Pocket Money should be given to children. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that mobile phone is destroying social interaction. Do you agree or disagree?

With growing populations in cities, more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.