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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Pocket Money should be given to children. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#pocket #money #children
Money
 management has become an important issue among youngsters. Some insist that parents should give children
money
 for allowances. I completely agree with the above as it gives kids financial freedom and allows them to be independent in prioritising choices but there are some dangers that cannot be ignored.
Firstly
,
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
 given as allowance to
juvenilles
Correct your spelling
juveniles
 allows financial freedom and educates them on
money
 management skills. To elaborate, wisely spending
money
 is an essential quality which needs to be taught right from a tender age and
this
 could effectively be accomplished by giving some weekly allowances.
This
 empowers kids to carefully spend
money
 on essential requirements.
Moreover
,
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 major benefit is
money
 can be used in situations of emergency.
For example
, in cases
such
 as a transport strike
money
 can be effectively used to commute in taxis or private transport.
Hence
, it is
nescessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 for parents to allocate pocket
money
 as weekly expenses.
On the other hand
, youngsters with mentally
imbalanaced
Correct your spelling
imbalanced
 and partially matured mindsets might face
diffculties
Correct your spelling
difficulties
. By
this
, I, mean that kids at a tender age may fall into traps of bad company and get addicted to illicit substances
such
 as
alochol
Correct your spelling
alcohol
, drugs.
This
 poses danger to the mental abilities in later stages of life.
For instance
, a recent survey by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experts from a reputed agency has concluded that
money
mismanagment
Correct your spelling
mismanagement
 has lead to the rise of drug addict problems in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers.
Therefore
, an alarming rise in numbers
has
Add the particle
tohas
show examples
 lead to a growing concern in the
socities
Correct your spelling
societies
. In conclusion, despite concerns of
money
 mismanagement has contributed to
Add an article
the rise
a rise
show examples
rise
Change the verb form
rising
show examples
 in figures of harmful activities it is considered
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
imperative that allowances
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 some
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 aspects.
Submitted by karthikaare27 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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