IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You recently started commuting to work by bicycle and discovered that there is a problem with bicycle parking near the building where you work. Write a letter to the building manager. In your letter, •explain the reason for using a  bicycle to commute •mention what problems you have encountered with parking •what you recommend to solve the problems

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Mr. John, I’m writing to let you know about the issue at the bicycle parking lot. Recently, I was diagnosed with obesity as I used to drive a car to the office
due to
Linking Words
 a sedentary lifestyle.
Thus
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, the doctor suggested I exercise more, so I started using a cycle
instead
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 of a car. It will help me to reduce my excessive weight rapidly.
However
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, the major concern is the safety of my bike at the parking. To illustrate, the majority of hooks have been broken, and the rest of the others are occupied early by staff members who have morning shifts, unfortunately, I always get the afternoon batch. I even heard from many people about stealing a bicycle from strangers. So,
this
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 is my humble request to you to find a solution for it. Vehicle safety is the responsibility of the institution
according to
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 the contract, I signed when I started working here. In my view, the hooks should be changed or else allocate a new place for parking. Hoping for the prompt protection, Yours faithfully, DKP

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task achievement
Consider giving a bit more detail about the problems with parking and its impact on your daily routine.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a single idea to enhance clarity and flow.
task achievement
You clearly explained the reason for using a bicycle to commute, linking it to your health concerns.
coherence cohesion
Your letter is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body, and closing.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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