IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many people believe that social networking sites (Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree.

#people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society
There is a common belief that social media
such
 as Facebook, has a catastrophic effect on every human being and the community as well. From my perspective, I partly agree with the statement.
This
 essay tends to elaborate thoroughly on the matter in the following paragraph. Social networking
sites
 play an important role in our daily lives.
First
, thanks to the rapid development of social webs,
people
 are able to stay up-to-date with the latest news whenever and where ever they go, as long as there is a technological device (smartphones, laptops, …) carried along during their trips.
In addition
, those
sites
 are places where everyone can form relationships in order to seek assistance or even love.
Furthermore
, nowadays, there are multiple apps that allow
people
 to make calls from a far distance.
Therefore
, social
sites
 are considered to be a tool that can bring men together, deepen the bonds and entertain workers after
such
 a hard-working day.
On the other hand
, social networking
sites
 may
also
 have an adverse impact on certain categories.
First
, social media can be addictive, especially for youngsters. In modern days, almost every kid attaches to his phone from time to time which can lead to a lack of interaction with real-life, causing multiple illnesses as well as making it hard for them to grow comprehensively.
In addition
, the information provided by
such
 websites sometimes is unreliable and may relate to terrorism and other social crimes.
For instance
, during the Covid19 outbreak, there was a lot of
people
 in Viet Nam posted fake news which puzzled the crowd and led to an unnecessary high demand in mask markets. In conclusion, since the existence of social networking
sites
, human has witnessed a significant change in every aspect of life.
Although
 they are believed to have certain adverse impacts,
people
 should find ways to reduce the drawbacks as well as to take advantage of their benefits as much as possible in order to facilitate human daily activities.
Submitted by vuongthiminhtuong2342003 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
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