IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some schools are very strict about their school uniform and appearance of their pupils, while others schools have very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children having school uniform?

#schools #school #uniform #appearance #pupils #dress #code #children
There are a lot of opinions related to how schools should regulate their policy regarding the student's uniforms and appearance. I strongly believe that having a strict regulation in
school
 is crucial to train pupils' self-discipline,
as well as
 to improve their unity,
although
 they may feel uncomfortable at the same point. In
this
 essay, I will disclose
this
 opinion comprehensively. First of all, the
school
's policy about uniforms will teach the students how to be
discipline
Wrong verb form
disciplined
show examples
. Because they were forced to prepare all the attributes every time they go to
school
, eventually, they will build a sense of independence and mannerisms.
For instance
, they understand how to differentiate dressing formally and informally.
Furthermore
,
this
 regulation will promote togetherness among them. Every child has a diverse background, some of them are from a lower-class family, and others are from an incredibly wealthy family.
This
 disparity can be removed because of the
school
's uniform.
Therefore
 they will have no boundaries at each other.
On the other hand
, it is true that
this
 strict implementation could cause some inconvenience for pupils. To illustrate, a lot of European schools have a relaxed rule for their scholar's appearance.
As a result
, they are able to express themselves without any restrictions, and they tend to be more confident because they have the opportunity to personalize their outfit. In brief, the benefits of promoting self-discipline in pupils and at the same time increasing their unity are clearly essential, in spite of their feeling uncomfortable with the environment.
Submitted by 000silr111 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide more specific and varied examples to strengthen your arguments. This will enhance the relevance and depth of your task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with grammatical accuracy and vocabulary choice to ensure clarity. Some phrasing might need refinement for clarity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear, sets the context, and expresses a strong position on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a logical structure with clear introductory and concluding sections.
task achievement
You provide a comprehensive response to the prompt, examining both sides of the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!