IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The arts, including art, music and theatre are considered to be important in society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyles? Should the arts be included in the school curriculum?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
art
Use synonyms
 has been neglected everywhere, community prefer professionalism and academic degrees as they bring in a high payable job than any refined skill or expertise,
although
Linking Words
 preference is given to degrees, a small chunk of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 values skill and talent above some basic professional jobs,
moreover
Linking Words
, there are some schools and institutes these days that promote
arts
Use synonyms
 by adding it in their compulsory courses.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
people
Use synonyms
 who are interested in
arts
Use synonyms
 and culture are highlighting the importance of melody,
drama
Use synonyms
, and other fading talents from our society by arranging tea time shows and theatrical events
this
Linking Words
 act helps to appreciate the artist and encourage them to perform better,
,,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Linking Words
additionally
Add a comma
,additionally
show examples
 it
also
Linking Words
 makes other
people
Use synonyms
 aware of the forbidden talent of our society.
For Example
Linking Words
, the recent theatrical
drama
Use synonyms
 organized by the national college of
arts
Use synonyms
 gathered a good sum of viewers showing the increasing interest of
people
Use synonyms
 in the unappreciated talent.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are schools and institutes which realizes the importance of artwork in our culture,
therefore
Linking Words
, they have added a compulsory course of
art
Use synonyms
, either be
drama
Use synonyms
, music, painting according to student choice in their syllabus to help students identify their hidden abilities,
this
Linking Words
 initiative has
also
Linking Words
 made
people
Use synonyms
 bring the long-forgotten importance of
arts
Use synonyms
 back in our lives.
For instance
Linking Words
, recently a local school group from Pakistan participated in an international
drama
Use synonyms
art
Use synonyms
 competition and captured a highlighted position in it, showing the heightened interest of
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 department of
arts
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, artistry is a mastery of a skill that needs to be identified to fully explore a person's abilities. It should be admired in all the eras of life to gain the brilliance of life,
also
Linking Words
 not only a few but all the schools and institutions shall add
art
Use synonyms
 and craft in their outlines as it makes students skilful in early stages of life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aesthetics
  • Cultural heritage
  • Empathy
  • Creativity
  • Expression
  • Innovation
  • Intellectual stimulation
  • Empathy
  • Fine motor skills
  • Well-rounded education
  • Accessibility
  • Preservation
  • Screen-centered
  • Storytelling
  • Balance
  • Artistic mediums
What to do next:
Look at other essays: