IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In many countries government are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money.

#countries #government #technology #money
Over recent decades, most nations have been trying to provide the best facilities to their society in order to the changes of technology in the world. In my opinion,
this
 is one of the best things which every country can do. I will explain the details in
this
 essay. A vast number of nations, especially developed countries, provide the best goods and services to their
people
. first thing, they would like to fulfil the society, mainly the young population.
For instance
, Apple brand, a company that makes electronic devices, can see that
people
 who live in a developed country will be able to use the whole process of purchasing certain services.
In addition
, the
government
 is to raise the awareness of
people
 and
also
 increase the standards of living. Under any circumstances does not the
government
 allow to
people
 feel the lack of facilities in different fields like medicine, agriculture, IT, and other things like that? I think every
government
 plays a vital role for the public in investing in new technology. I believe that, since taxes are given by the
government
 society is right to use the latest version of modern facilities.
Besides
, not only will they create happy families, but
also
 it could be possible for the public to be used in different workplaces with the least stress and the highest self-confidence. In conclusion,
although
 many countries suppose that should not consider the public, investing for the
people
 means that the country is developed with cheerful
people
.
Submitted by s_karimi2002 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure your ideas are well-structured and logically organized. Sometimes, it might be helpful to create an outline before you start writing.
task achievement
Strengthen your arguments by providing more specific examples that directly support your points. It will make your essay more convincing and relevant.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a clear opinion on the subject, which is maintained throughout.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear attempt to structure the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • governmental investment
  • enhance efficiency
  • accessibility
  • responsiveness
  • public services
  • progressive step
  • modernizing
  • quality of life
  • technological advancements
  • data management
  • policy decisions
  • streamlined processes
  • shift towards technology
  • digitization
  • digital divide
  • privacy
  • prioritization
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!