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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Should the government make decisions about people's lifestyle or should people make their own decisions? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#government #decisions #people #lifestyle
With modernization, peoples' lifestyles have transformed massively. It is often debatable whether
people
 should have absolute right and decision making for the way of living for themselves , while others argue that the authorities should be accountable to take
decisions
 for peoples lifestyle.In my opinion, I believe that there are certain things that should be in control of
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 , while
people
 should
also
 retain the rights of their life.
To begin
 with, in developed countries and democratic nations,
people
 are free to make their own
decisions
.
This
 is to say that citizens are aware of their rights and responsibilities for their actions .
For example
, smoking is injurious to health and prohibited in public places .
However
,
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
people
 make
this
 a part of their life and do it in parts and get together.
Hence
, the government has never restricted its use and sale as its consumption is one's personal choice until it is not harming other citizens. On
ther
Correct your spelling
the
other
their
 hand, there are activities as well as professions
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are in control of the higher authorities as exploiting them can be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 society.
In other words
, the government can provide guidelines to the
people
 in making
decisions
 for their lifestyles.
for example
, drinking is not prohibited. But, drinking and driving
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 illegal as it is a matter of road safety.
Furthermore
, it threatens others safety too.
Therefore
, considering the outcome , the administration has created the policy and for road safety.
Thus
, an individual should know their actions and their consequences.As long as it does not affect the environment and humans it is acceptable
otherwise
 not. In conclusion,
although
law
Correct article usage
the law
show examples
 should be there to encourage a healthy lifestyle, at the same time
people
 should be allowed to
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
decisions
 concerning their private affairs without branching rules for the larger benefit of society.
Submitted by Sal on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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