Raising household electricity fees is the most effective solution to the problems associated with power generation and environmental pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective in reducing the environmental pollution caused by power generation?

These days, to tackle the issues relevant to environmental contamination and
power
generation, the most effective measure is increasing domestic
electricity
.
However
, I firmly believe that
this
solution would not be helpful and that
this
problem can only truly be addressed by using clean
energy
sources
. There are two main reasons why I disagree that raising
electricity
fees is the best choice to reduce environmental pollution linked to
power
generation .
Initially
, the foremost one is that the average cost of
power
only has a little impact when compared to commercial and exploratory activities, even if it is undeniable that reckless
energy
use for personal reasons contributes greatly to
energy
waste and environmental change.
Therefore
, raising domestic
energy
utilities won't help to resolve
this
issue. What is more,
this
practice disproportionately affects low-income residents who struggle with financial burdens, and increasing
electricity
fees could exacerbate their difficulties, potentially leading to
energy
poverty where families are unable to afford basic
energy
needs. Regarding other effective measures to the environmental problems, the most significant one may be the utilisation of renewable
energy
sources
instead
of non-renewable
sources
. These days, solar or wind systems are not only deemed environmentally friendly but
also
can produce the same amount of
energy
as other
energy
sources
. In that way, we could reduce our reliance on fossil-fuel-burning
power
plants, which contribute greatly to addressing alarming environmental issues. Apart from that, shifting to the use of electric, and hydrogen vehicles or promoting shared mobility might be another feasible solution to address
this
serious problem.
For example
, in Denmark, people choose to utilize carpooling, public transportation, and bicycles on a more frequent basis,
instead
of using their own private vehicles.
Consequently
, the air quality in
this
country could be improved significantly. In conclusion, I believe that increasing the price of residential
electricity
bills may not be the most suitable alternative to solve
power
issues.
While
Correct word choice
This
show examples
this
problem can be solved by using clean
energy
sources
as well as
boosting the utilisation of eco-friendly transportation
Submitted by mgnm140307 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. Specific evidence adds strength to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using connectives and transitional phrases can help improve the flow.
coherence cohesion
Take a moment to clearly restate your position in the conclusion. It will reinforce your argument and make your essay more cohesive.
task achievement
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and sentence structure to enhance clarity and readability.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear stance on the topic and maintains this viewpoint throughout.
coherence cohesion
The structure is logically organized with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs.
task achievement
The arguments are supported with relevant points and examples, particularly the mention of renewable energy sources and the case of Denmark.
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