Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #crimes #parents

There are those who have the belief that spending

money

on personal

celebration

events

is the same as throwing it away, while some think that these

events

are significant both for

individuals

and communities.

This

essay discusses both points of view and

then

I will give my own opinion which is that personal

celebration

events

are important because they make

individuals

feel special and bring

people

together. On one hand, there are several reasons why throwing parties is a waste of

money

. One of them is that there are several other better uses for the

money

Instead

of paying for others to eat, drink and dance,

individuals

could be investing in themselves, either professionally, enrolling in some course,

for instance

, or personally,

such

as travelling.

Moreover

, parties’ arrangements are frequently stressful.

People

care about what others think of them and

this

often raises concerns while organising these

events

. They tend to become anxious since nothing can go wrong that they end up not enjoying their own

celebration

On the other hand

celebration

events

have their merits.

Firstly

, for

individuals

, it is a unique moment in their lives, when they feel special and loved since they are surrounded by

people

that care about them and are there to celebrate with them. These moments

also

become glad memories that

last

for the rest of their lives.

In addition

, for society, these

events

bring

people

closer to each other and highlight the beauty of living in a community. To conclude, both sides have their merits.

However

, in balance, I believe that personal

celebration

events

are not a waste of

money

, but enormously significant for

people

’s lives since they make

individuals

feel loved and unite communities.

Submitted by eduardamallmann on Sat Mar 13 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it discuss both views and give your opinion.

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