IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today’s parents spend too little time staying with their children and use television to make their children keep quiet. explain the reason and results by using your relevant examples.

#today’s #parents #time #children #television #reason #results
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Despite knowing the importance of
parents
Use synonyms
-
children
Use synonyms
 bonding most of the
parents
Use synonyms
 have been spending
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 limited amount of time with their
children
Use synonyms
 and using television to make them quiet.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain the reasons and results of
this
Linking Words
 trend with relevant examples. There are two main reasons for the
parents
Use synonyms
 to spend little time with their
children
Use synonyms
, modern
Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 and hectic work
shedule
Correct your spelling
schedule
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in today's world ,
nuclear
Add an article
the nuclear
a nuclear
show examples
 family is very common and they
lack
Use synonyms
 the love and affection of the traditional family .
For example
Linking Words
, compare to
olden
Correct article usage
the olden
show examples
 days nowadays family consists of
parents
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 and
children
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 alone and they
lack
Use synonyms
 the care of
grand
Correct your spelling
grandparents
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 ,
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to make
life
Use synonyms
 easy
parents
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 rely on
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 to entertain their
children
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, today's unlike the past both
parents
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 are working and they struggle with their hectic work
shedule
Correct your spelling
schedule
.
This
Linking Words
 will automatically affect their family
life
Use synonyms
 and will not get adequate time to spend with their
children
Use synonyms
 . In
such
Linking Words
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 become
children
Use synonyms
 's
companian
Correct your spelling
companion
 and they get less attention from their
parents
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
 ,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the life
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 and work schedule o
parents
Use synonyms
 will result in less bonding between
parents
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 and
children
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
 ,
children
Use synonyms
 will
addicted
Change the verb form
be addicted
addict
show examples
 to
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 and
evidentilly
Correct your spelling
evidentially
evidently
 affect their studies.
In addition
Linking Words
, due to
lack
Use synonyms
 of parental care and presence
children
Use synonyms
 may turn in to
anti social
Add a hyphen
anti-social
show examples
 behaviours and may affect their future
life
Use synonyms
.For instances, in most of the
juvanile
Correct your spelling
juvenile
deliquency
Correct your spelling
delinquency
 cases
lack
Use synonyms
 o parental attention is the prime reason or the
chidren's
Correct your spelling
children's
 bad behaviour. No one is born
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 criminal, their
socio economic
Add a hyphen
socio-economic
show examples
 situations make them criminal. In conclusion,
need
Correct article usage
the need
show examples
 o
parents
Use synonyms
-
children
Use synonyms
 bonding is unavoidable in a family, it is the basement o every
relationships
Change to a singular noun
relationship
show examples
. It is the responsibility of the
parents
Use synonyms
 to make their
children
Use synonyms
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
better citizens, all care and love should begin from the family.
Submitted by ansachacko on

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