IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people argue that the government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should make sure they have access to the Internet. They believe this is the best way of using public money to reduce the problem of unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #person #phone #access #internet #money #unemployment
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For the past few decades, with the tremendous increase in population, the rate of
unemployment
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 has been rising. Many
people
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 opine that distributing
smartphones
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 among unoccupied
youth
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 is the amicable way for the utilization of public money in growing
unemployment
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. I completely disagree with
this
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 notion. It will be justified in detail in the upcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
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, obtaining a smartphone with every facility could have deleterious effects on youngsters. To elaborate,rather than utilising those gadgets in a beneficial way, individuals especially
youth
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 would get addicted to them.
for example
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, the survey conducted by the Humen resource forum provided shocking data that 45% of unemployed
youth
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 who own a smartphone found to be inactive and confined within their rooms.
Besides
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 these effects,
smartphones
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 would help
people
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 to be influenced by bad peers through social media platforms.
Consequently
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 aggravate the occurrence of behavioural abnormalities in
such
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people
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.
Hence
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, it could be said that unemployed ones in the productive age should be kept away from those perilous facilities.
Secondly
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,
unemployment
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 could be solved more fairly by training youngsters with new skills. To explain, rather than providing them with the
smartphones
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, if authorities could mobilize the tax money in the form of low-interest loans to support small scale business done by
people
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 can overcome
this
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 issue to a greater extend.
In addition
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,the government could establish free training centres to promote the learning of skills like hand-looming, pottery making. Definitely,
such
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 steps could make
people
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 more secure and independent.
For example
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, the government of India implemented
Correct article usage
a
show examples
'skill India' plan to support the jobless
youth
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. Having analyzed the above facts and evidence, the importance of a wise governmental intervention could again be stressed. To conclude, the distribution of
smartphones
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 among jobless
youth
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 could exacerbate the currently existing
unemployment
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.
Nevertheless
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,
people
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 could be saved by adequate and proper support from the executive. I hope, the government will consider the merits and demerits of their plans before any official action.
Submitted by neethuchackochan on

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