IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

It has been suggested that all young adults should be required to undertake a period of unpaid work helping people in the community. Would the drawbacks of such a requirement be greater than the benefits to the community and the individual young adults? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge

#adults #period #work #people #community #requirement
Some
people
 suggest it should be mandatory for teenagers to work towards society to extend their help to
people
 without any wages. as per my opinion, there are higher pros than cons to the community as well as to the single young mind.
This
 essay will discuss the pros attached to it.
Firstly
, supporting helpless
people
 in the community brings out social awareness at a very early stage. In schools,
this
 should be a part of the curriculum for children so that they understand the problems in the surrounding environment and start acting upon it which will eventually brighten up everyone's future.
For Example
, in India, all management schools have included a corporate social responsibility program in their syllabus. In
such
 programs, every student has to contribute his time and efforts for the betterment of needy
people
 free of cost. Despite
this
 activity being tedious, it contributes to a positive step towards a better future.
Secondly
, working for a healthy cause ignites the sense of responsibility in young adults towards their own family and society.
Although
 the person may take
this
 as an assignment, it does teach a person some harsh reality of life.
For Instance
, in the recent report, results stated that the
people
 who have undertaken
such
 jobs at an early age turned out to be better human beings in the future. In conclusion, it is important for children to work for society without any monetary benefits as
this
 activity will have many advantages than disadvantages towards the community as well as to the individual.
Submitted by Snehal Baste on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: