IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

For the past year you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to end your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter: state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this give details of how you have benefited from the club explain why you want to leave

#year #member #club #membership #secretary #type #give
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Dear Sir/Madam I am writing to terminate my membership at the
club
. My name is Pramod, and I have been a member of
this
club
 for
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 2 years. My membership card number is 252151. I obtained
gold
Correct article usage
a gold
show examples
 membership of the
club
, which includes access to amenities
such
 Gym, Table tennis room and Swimming pool. I made payment via credit card and
joining
Correct article usage
the joining
show examples
 date was January 1st, 2022. I have benefited a lot by using
this
club
. As I am a health
concious
Correct your spelling
conscious
 person, I like to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise regularly, thereby
club
 Gym helped me to achieve my goals.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, I
enjoyed
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
 swimming because it is my stress buster, and
also
 keeps me fit. I like to meet and communicate with new people so Table tennis played a pivotal role in making new friends. I have recently got a new job in Dubai, and I have already made arrangements to relocate,
therefore
 I have to cancel
the
Change the word
my
show examples
 current
subscribtion
Correct your spelling
subscription
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 your
club
. Hoping to hear from you soon. Yours sincerely, Pramod
Submitted by Darshita@8612 on

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coherence cohesion
Although the logical structure is mostly clear, ensure you clearly separate different points into distinct paragraphs. For instance, the reason for leaving could form a new paragraph.
task achievement
Pay attention to minor spelling errors, like 'Gym' should be 'gym', and 'subscribtion' should be 'subscription.' Such errors could affect the task response score, even if only slightly.
task achievement
Consider being more explicit about how each facility individually benefited you, which might enhance clarity and completeness in task response.
task achievement
Your letter clearly states the type of membership and the payment details, which is in line with the task requirements.
task achievement
The letter maintains a suitable and polite tone throughout, hence aligning well with the expectation of a formal letter closure.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriately used, with clear respect and professionalism typical in formal letters.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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