Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In our fast-paced society, the phenomenon of government control over the citizens' call records and messages has long been a subject of controversial debate. Some societies have a notion that restrictions are required,
whereas
others allege that if it happens, it means the violation of the rights of people. In the forthcoming paragraphs,
this
essay will elucidate both viewpoints and provide a logical conclusion from my standpoint. First and foremost, proponents of the idea that the executive powers should have access to people's telephones claim that it is good for our safety. In today's global era, a person can easily meet new acquaintances on social media platforms who can be fraudulent and misleading . Meanwhile, when they start to give some private information about their lives or belongings, they can encounter some problems
such
as infringement of their privacy, placing them at a heightened threat of being penniless.
Therefore
, the authorities' involvement might be considered as one of the best ways to direct these issues.
Conversely
, opponents of the view that doing it without permission can result in some confidentiality problems for communities claim that it is not an adequate method to govern
such
problems.
Thus
, when the messages and phone calls ,which are encoded in our phones, are read by experts in power, they can witness any personal circumstances in our lives without questioning.
However
, it is important to emphasize that the experts can help us to prevent some unfavourable conditions from happening
while
doing it with the means of surveys and feedback from the residents. In conclusion, after having meticulously discussed both aspects of
this
tendency,
it is clear that
government control of our electronic appliances should be implemented through permission. I am a staunch believer that a delicate balance between the interventions of authority and freedom might be key to mitigating the dire ramifications of aforementioned predicaments, protecting posterity from the potential risks of technology for the sake of communities.
Submitted by writingbhos on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. While your essay addresses the task well, including real-life examples or studies could strengthen your points and make your argumentation more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Maintain consistency in argumentation throughout your essay. Shifts in viewpoint should be clearly marked and smoothly transitioned to ensure your essay flows logically from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay is well-structured, refining your thesis statement can provide a clearer roadmap for your reader. This will enhance the effectiveness of your introduction and overall argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate the topic and your stance, showing a good grasp of essay organization.
supported main points
You demonstrated a good ability to explore both sides of the argument, which is crucial for this type of essay. This balanced view is a strong point in your writing.
logical structure
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