As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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With the development of technology and electricity, a wide range of devices has been invented to meet the high demand of many consumers. These figures play a practical role that helps our daily life become more convenient than ever. Electronic inventions
such
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as the computer and television,
however
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,
also
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cause us to be inactive and take part in less physical activities. From my perspective, I totally disapprove of
this
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toxic lifestyle which may pose a serious impact on our health.
To begin
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with, we can not deny the
efficiency
Verify preposition usage
ofefficiency
show examples
these digital devices giving us. Thanks to computers, nowadays, people are enabled to get access to more sources of entertainment, surf, and do shopping on e-commerce websites.
Moreover
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, more activities are done online. There is obviously no need to line up in queues for our turn of payment or signing up for some study course. To illustrate, in these Covid-19 pandemic days, it is compulsory to avoid being crowded anywhere;
as a result
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, staying at home and finishing everything with a click of a mouse is the best choice for all of us.
Nevertheless
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,
on the other hand
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, due to the usefulness of AI creations, human has the tendency to rely on these things severely and make us hardly have any interest to do anything physically. That phenomenon may need to be paid more attention to than we thought because of its negative effect on our health. The less exercise we do every day, the more risk of dangerous diseases may occur to us.
For instance
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, inactive people absolutely have more chances to gain weight and
then
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get stuck in the problem of obesity and easily be fainted when doing something hard in a short period of time. Doing less physical exercise
also
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makes our brain work ineffectively and not perform all our ability at work. To conclude, I think
although
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electronic devices help our life more advantageous, the drawbacks they bring us are
also
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irrefutable.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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