Modern society is becoming more concerned about the increase in juvenile crime. what do you think is the cause of the increase in juvenile crime? what solutions can you suggest.

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Recently, with the development of information technology, juveniles are easily exposed to various kinds of violations. Often, many people have raised concerns that the youth

crime

Use synonyms

rate has risen considerably in contemporary society.

This

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essay will identify the possible causes behind

this

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phenomenon and suggest some solutions. There are several causes behind

this

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phenomenon.

First,

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It is difficult for

parents

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to spend enough time taking care of their offspring. In busy modern life, both fathers and mothers work to make money for their livelihood. For that reason, children tend to spend their free time on the Internet.

Second,

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the description of violations in books and TV shows these days is more vivid and realistic than ever, so it can readily motivate or inspire juveniles. Realistic or detailed explanations of criminal methods can educate adolescents with less sublime intentions and encourage them to commit copycat

crimes

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For instance

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, there are many juvenile

crimes

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in South Korea, and more than 40 per cent of them have committed

crimes

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out of curiosity after reading books or watching movies related to them.

In addition

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, the punishment for youth delinquency is significantly weaker than that for adult

criminals

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. In fact, in Korea, the punishment for

crimes

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is noticeably weak, so the number of juvenile offenders who abuse

crime

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is increasing quite a bit. To tackle

this

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problem, one of the most effective solutions,

then

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, will be financial aid for

parents

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who have kids. If the

government

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provides some money to

parents

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, they do not have to work too much, which will reduce their financial burden.

As a result

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, people can try to spend their precious time with their children.

Besides

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, the

government

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should enact a law to deter juvenile

criminals

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from committing

crimes

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. When accessing media related to violence, if the

government

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create a mandatory system for adult certification over the age of 20, teenagers cannot access it, so we can prevent young people's exposure to violent content.

Moreover

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, even if minors commit a

crime

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, they should be punished in the same way that adult

criminals

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are

according to

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the

crime

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they commit, not by their age, so it can reduce the youth

crime

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rate. In conclusion, violent media content is responsible for an increasing the number of juvenile

criminals

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in contemporary society. To combat adolescent

crimes

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getting more , not only the

government

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but

also

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the family have to take various measures.The

government

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should educate or strengthen punishment for juvenile offenders.

In addition

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parents

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should effort to take care of their children.

Submitted by gnlwnww on Sat Aug 05 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph clearly addresses a single main idea to improve coherence. Using topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs can guide the reader through your argument more seamlessly.

coherence cohesion

To enhance cohesion, use a wider range of linking words and phrases that not only show the relationship between ideas but also guide the reader through the progression of your argument.

task achievement

To improve task achievement, aim to incorporate a wider variety of relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. While your essay does a good job of discussing general causes and solutions, incorporating more detailed examples and data could strengthen your points.

task achievement

When discussing solutions or causes, consider exploring them in greater depth. This includes elaborating on how specific solutions could be implemented and how they would effectively address the issues at hand.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

418 words

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Modern society is becoming more concerned about the increase in juvenile crime. what do you think is the cause of the increase in juvenile crime? what solutions can you suggest.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Some people believe that having sports in schools is a waste of time and resources, while others believe that sports in school are a vital part of education.

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion.