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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The family has a great influence on children’s development, but the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part in children’s life. Do you agree or disagree.

#influence #children’s #development #home #part #life
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Nowadays, there are truckloads of information from all around the world that are bombarding our daily lives every
second
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.
Children
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 are being impacted by everything
that is
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 outside their home a lot, the role that these affected play is outweighing the family education. I am completely standing on the same view with
this
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 statement. On one hand,
children
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 tend to perceive the world by themselves rather than being taught by their
parents
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.
This
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 can be evidenced by the stubborn performances or grumpy personalities that
children
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 show occasionally. In fact, some
parents
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 found that their kids start to challenge themselves at the age of 2 or 3, by shouting at the
parents
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 to stop them from touching or moving their toys.
This
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 is because they think that their family members are deterring them from exploring the world. In a word, the effect of family education on
children
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 is limited.
On the other hand
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, society can easily instil an adverse idea into
children
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’s mind. An undeniable truth is that the number of juvenile crimes is continuously increasing over the past decades.
For example
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, a recent survey conducted by the local government evinced that the ages of the criminals are getting younger. Most of them committed their
first
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 crime at the age of 14 and was seduced by a “big brother” that they knew from a gang. These results are obviously indicating that the
children
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 can be easily enticed by the people or the matters outside their home. In conclusion,
although
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 the family can limitedly affect
children
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’s development, the energy of the impacts of society is excessively exceeding the one from
parents
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.
Submitted by anike14 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nurturing environment
  • emotional and psychological development
  • foundational stone
  • external influences
  • diverse perspectives
  • digital media
  • peer pressure
  • social circles
  • intellectual development
  • structured knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • cultural and societal norms
What to do next:
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