IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In recent years, individuals have caused devastating impacts on global flora and fauna. Opinions are divided about whether or not some measures could be taken to tackle
this
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 problem.
While
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 it seems like a daunting task to raise awareness among people, I wholeheartedly believe that the involvement of
governments
Use synonyms
 can make a great deal of contribution to saving wildlife. On the one hand, it is almost impossible to prevent people from harming nature. As there are several billions of humans living in various parts of the world, it is challenging to inform them about the potential consequences their
activities
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 lead to.
However
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,there is a widely held view that even though most people living in urban areas are well aware of the destructive effects they have on the planet,
such
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 as hunting rare animals and demolishing trees, they neglect them and keep pursuing their environmentally disadvantaged
activities
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 to make money. Considering
this
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 side of the argument, any possible change can be ineffective.
On the other hand
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, there is a wide range of preventative measures that can be used to arrest
this
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 trend by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
policymakers . Local authorities, through their elected politicians, can introduce laws against disruptive practices carried out by individuals.
Governments
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 may develop legislation to conserve biodiversity, which in turn establishes standards, guidelines, and penalties to deter and discourage harmful
activities
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 that have a negative impact on current biodiversity. Without the interference of
governments
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, any changes intended to avoid human disruptive behaviour can be unsuccessful. In conclusion, the preservation of wildlife has led to many debates throughout the globe, given that a wide range of human
activities
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 have been causing problems for animals and plants involving shrinking habitats and deforestation, making hundreds of living creatures extinct. Even though making some alterations seems impossible, I strongly believe that with law enforcement,
governments
Use synonyms
 are able to stop
such
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 hazardous practices.

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task achievement
You might want to provide more specific examples or data to support your points, especially regarding the effectiveness of government actions or specific measures that have been successful in other countries.
task achievement
Ensure you thoroughly explore both sides of the argument by providing more detail about the views of those who believe change is impossible, possibly including statistics or studies that reflect their opinions.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to help transition between your ideas, which can enhance the flow and clarity of your arguments.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents your opinion effectively.
coherence and cohesion
You provided strong arguments regarding the role of governments, which are well articulated and logical, contributing to a robust structure overall.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • negative impact
  • extinct
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitat destruction
  • mitigate
  • reverse
  • stricter regulations
  • protected areas
  • endangered species
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • biodiversity
  • consequences
  • renewable energy sources
  • organic farming
  • eco-tourism
  • environmental regulations
  • sustainable practices
  • natural ecosystems
  • preserve biodiversity
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