IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#believe #olympic #games #people #nations #olympics #wastes #money
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are many who claim that holding the
Olympic
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 brings
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of country's together while others think that it is a waste of financial resources which can
be use
Change the verb form
be used
show examples
 in more pressing issues. I strongly believe that
Olympic
Use synonyms
 is an event that helps to bring nations together for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
one common goal. The game has brought about the best in most of the
countries
Use synonyms
 while putting a pause to
differances
Correct your spelling
differences
 among them.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it gives a common platform to all sportsmen irrespective of their colour, race, gender to come together and compete to achieve the
heighest
Correct your spelling
highest
 achievement any athlete can achieve in their life.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, all athletes around the world
gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
 an opportunity to share their culture, experience and improve
camraderie
Correct your spelling
camaraderie
. As an example, nations like China, Russia and the United State of America who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 in
real time
Add a hyphen
real-time
show examples
war ready
Add a hyphen
war-ready
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 put aside
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
differances
Correct your spelling
differences
 and compete in the name of
sportsmenship
Correct your spelling
sportsmanship
 which increase the understanding among them.
Finally
Linking Words
, holding the
Olympic
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 will help not only the athletes who are competing but
also
Linking Words
 the whole world to understand
differant
Correct your spelling
different
 cultures and people around us
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 holding
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
Olympic games
an Olympic game
show examples
Olympic
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 require
substantial
Add an article
a substantial
show examples
 amount of investment from
countries
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the holding country will have to either upgrade the existing infrastructure or build them from scratch to meet the required standards which will put some of the
countries
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a spot of bother,
interms
Correct your spelling
in terms
 of the financial capability. As an example, Brazil went
bankrupcy
Correct your spelling
bankruptcy
bankrupt
 after obtaining loans from
differant
Correct your spelling
different
 institutes to build
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 stadiums which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 only used for the
games
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
countries
Use synonyms
 can go
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 debt traps by
such
Linking Words
 actions simply because the governments only
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 of the publicity and the image they could get by holding
such
Linking Words
event
Correct article usage
an event
show examples
 In conclusion,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 there are only financial concerns which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 arising from holding an event
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 magnitude,
countries
Use synonyms
 should get together and support the holding
countries
Use synonyms
 to meet the requirements so that the huge amounts of benefits can be reaped effectively for the host country and the world.
Submitted by suhithakarunanayake on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: