The arts, including art, music and theatre are considered to be important in society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyles? Should the arts be included in the school curriculum?

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It is rightly said that "art speaks when words exhaust".
This
Linking Words

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topic is always in
limelight
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the limelight

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for people to discuss, whether
arts
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has
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have

The verb has does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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existance
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existence

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in the contemporary world and should it be a
part
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of
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school
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the school

The noun phrase school curriculum seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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curriculum.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will enunciate
about
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apply

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the facts that art does exist in
modern
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the modern

The noun phrase modern world seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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world and should be an integral
part
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of
school
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studies.
To begin
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with, we can consider events that are taking place in many villages and cities relating to music, drama etc.
Firstly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they are organised by many huge multinational companies or they sponsor them as they understand the significance of these subjects.
Secondly
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, people are aware of the fact that human society cannot be deprived of these essential elements, which plays
an
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a

The article an may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word vital.

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vital role in our life.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in the recent news, an article revealed about
few
Correct article usage
a few

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giant
industrialist
Change to a plural noun
industrialists

The singular countable noun industrialist follows the quantifier few, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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, who have decided to invest their
part
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of the earnings to promote these disciplines.
Additionally
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, many institutes are nowadays emphasising
on
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apply

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different forms of
arts
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. Some schools at
primary
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the primary

The noun phrase primary and secondary level seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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and secondary level have made it mandatory for the
juviniles
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juveniles

The word juviniles is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

to learn
basics
Correct article usage
the basics

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of these subjects. Undoubtedly, pupils will learn about different forms of
arts
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. Evidently, it will result in their holistic development.
Further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when they participate in events relating to performing
arts
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, their confidence and personality
gains
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gain

It appears that the singular verb gains does not agree with the plural compound subject their confidence and personality. Consider changing the verb to the plural form.

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remarkable achievement.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a
school
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magazine has revealed many cases, where students who were introvert and sigh, have shown excellent progress. To summarise, I strongly believe that different forms of performing
arts
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will always be an essential
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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

part
Verify preposition usage
ofpart

It appears that there is a missing preposition after the word part. Consider adding the preposition.

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fo
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of

The word fo doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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civilization which is inevitable. Not only these,
they should
Add the word(s)
but they should also

The sentence is missing part of the not only ... but also construction. Consider adding the missing word(s).

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be
tought
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taught
thought
tough

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to the
school
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juviniles
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juveniles

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right from
young
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a young

The noun phrase young age seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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age to maintain its importance and keep it alive.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aesthetics
  • Cultural heritage
  • Empathy
  • Creativity
  • Expression
  • Innovation
  • Intellectual stimulation
  • Empathy
  • Fine motor skills
  • Well-rounded education
  • Accessibility
  • Preservation
  • Screen-centered
  • Storytelling
  • Balance
  • Artistic mediums
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