The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. what are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

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The world's
population
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continues to rise at an alarming rate, and some argue that
this
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is the most pressing issue facing
humanity
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today. The increase in
population
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is driven by several factors, including advancements in healthcare and declining mortality
rates
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.
However
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,
while
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overpopulation is a significant concern, I believe that other global issues,
such
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as climate change and economic inequality, pose even greater threats to
humanity
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. One of the main causes of rapid
population
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growth is the improvement in medical care. In the past, high infant mortality
rates
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and the spread of infectious diseases kept
population
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levels in check.
However
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,
due to
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advancements in vaccines, antibiotics, and sanitation, people are now living longer, leading to an
overall
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rise in
population
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.
Additionally
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, in some developing countries, lack of education and limited access to contraception contribute to higher birth
rates
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, as families continue to have multiple children
due to
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cultural or economic reasons. Despite the challenges caused by overpopulation, I do not believe it is the greatest problem
humanity
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faces today. Climate change,
for example
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, has far-reaching consequences that affect all aspects of life, including food security, natural disasters, and rising sea levels.
Furthermore
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, economic inequality continues to widen the gap between the rich and the poor, making it difficult for many people to access basic necessities
such
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as healthcare, education, and clean water.
While
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overpopulation exacerbates these issues, it is not the root cause of them. In conclusion,
while
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rapid
population
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growth is a major global concern, it is largely caused by improved healthcare and high birth
rates
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in developing nations.
However
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, I believe that other issues,
such
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as climate change and economic disparity, pose even greater risks to
humanity
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. Rather than focusing solely on
population
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control, efforts should be directed towards sustainable development and reducing global inequalities.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or case studies to better illustrate your points about healthcare advancements and their impacts on population growth. This can strengthen your argument significantly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly link your ideas within and between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of your essay, which can improve coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear opinion expressed in the introduction and well-organized body paragraphs, contributing to effective logical structure.
task achievement
The discussion of the causes of population growth is insightful and shows a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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