Some people believe that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

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It is true that

people

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have a lot of ways to achieve

success

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in their life. While some

people

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think

money

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and appearance are two factors affecting

people

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success

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, I would argue that

people

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can reach the peak of their career when they work hard and have determination. On the one hand, there are several reasons why finance and physical beauty are important contributors to

success

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in life. The

first

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reason is that

money

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enables

people

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to reach their deep desires like power and frame.

For example

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, if

people

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have a great deal of

money

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, they have countless opportunities to progress rapidly in their career or being well-known in the community that they desired.

Furthermore

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, personal appearance is one of the crucial factors impacting achievement.

For instance

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, it would be a good chance for candidates to seek a job if they indicate their confident body posture or wearing clothing apart from great skills and experiences.

On the other hand

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, it is undeniable that hard-working and resolution are necessary features that are pivotal to ensure

success

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Firstly

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, hard work helps

people

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gain some valuable experiences in aspects of life.

For example

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, if the young student practices several times some kinds of assignment in college and at home, they are likely to minimize the risk of repeating the same mistakes so they have the tendency to get high scores in the formal exam.

Secondly

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, determination gives us the motivation to set up goals that become the foundation of

success

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As a result

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this

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is an essential skill to allow

people

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to overcome complex problems in all situation and always keep moving forward to reach long-term goals. In conclusion,

although

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money

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and personal appearance have an influence on achievement, it seems to me that hard work and resolution are dominant factors to get the highest achievement.

Submitted by chautran654 on Mon Mar 22 2021

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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