A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/She has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday describe some possible disadvantages say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer

#friend #holiday #first #time #summer #advice

Dear Ahmad, Hello, hope you are in good health. I received your email that you are planning to camping holiday which I went to

last

month. I am writing

this

letter to share some advice that might

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

help you.

Firstly

, you will enjoy the view of nature itself, the sun shines very brightly,

you

Correct word choice

and you

show examples

will relax right in the open air. But do not forget to take a tent with you in the evening.

This

also

has its downsides: in the evening there are a lot of mosquitoes and flies, they are very annoying.

On the other hand

, dealing

cold

Change preposition

with cold

show examples

weather might be challenging for you

initially

, but I am confident you will adapt quickly. You know I like to be in different camps. That's why I plan to go to another camp

this

month. I am so sorry, I can't go with you. Hope to see you soon. Yours sincerely, Samandar

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Tue Feb 20 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve task response, ensure that your letter fully addresses all parts of the task. In this case, more detail could be provided on why you believe your friend would enjoy a camping holiday. Additionally, offering specific advice or tips for dealing with the disadvantages mentioned could enhance the completeness of your response.

Coherence & Cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider adding more connectors or transitional phrases to make the flow between ideas smoother. Organizing your ideas more clearly into paragraphs, each with a single, well-developed idea, can also help. While you've generally done well in greeting/closing and maintaining one idea per paragraph, ensuring that each paragraph flows naturally into the next will further improve your writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

153 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

adventure
serenity
outdoors
refreshing
hustle and bustle
inherent
foster
distractions
cost-effective
unpredictable
wildlife
adequate preparation
physical demands
researching
campsite
lasting memories
mutual interests

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying more up to date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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In the future all cars, bussess and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of diverless vehicle out weigh the disadvantages?