Sport is one of the most popular draws on television today. Some people argue that the practice of showing sport on television is to blame for the poor health of the young generation by encouraging them to watch rather than partake in physical activity. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#sport #television #people #practice #health #generation #activity

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With the advancement in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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technology, the

health

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of people is deteriorating

daybyday

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day-by-day

day by day

One

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Change preposition

apply

show examples

such

Linking Words

device is

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television

Correct article usage

the television

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. A section of the society believes that broadcasting of

sports

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events which is

one

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of the most famous

programme

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programmes

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television

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is the main reason for the poor

health

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especially

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,especially

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amongst

the

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apply

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youngsters

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. It results

into

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show examples

motivating them to watch

instead

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of taking part in the physical exercise. I agree with the given notion but there are some other factors which

contributes

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contribute

show examples

poor

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the poor

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health

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youngsters

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. The

sports

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channels are becoming popular

since

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show examples

the

last

Linking Words

decade as the numbers of

sports

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channels has risen drastically as well as they are showing

the

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apply

show examples

sports

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events 24*7. Due to

this

Linking Words

, the

youngsters

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keeps

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keep

show examples

watching the

television

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while sitting or lying which results

into

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show examples

obesity and high risks of heart diseases.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they become lazy and inactive. Watching

television

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continuously for long hours

also

Linking Words

has a harmful effect on the eyesight of individuals.

As per the

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The

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research conducted by The New York Times revealed that seven out of ten

youngsters

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had spectacles who were watching

television

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continuously for two hours.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, nowadays

youngsters

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are more inclined to eat junk food and aerated drinks.

Linking Words

Consequently

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,Consequently

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it has

also

Linking Words

affected the fitness of the young generations.

Moreover

Linking Words

, parents are giving much importance to focus on the study rather than indulging

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show examples

into

Correct your spelling

in to

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participate

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participating

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the

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apply

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sports

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This

Linking Words

one

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of the crucial

factor

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factors

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behind the poor

health

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of young people. It directly has a negative impact on the minds of

youngsters

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For instance

Linking Words

one

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of our

cousin

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cousins

show examples

has gone into depression because of excessive pressure to study from his parents. In conclusion, I believe that parents should encourage children to take part in physical activities and

also

Linking Words

motivate them by making some

sports

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person their role model as well as allowing them to watch

television

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for

limited

Correct article usage

a limited

show examples

time

Submitted by ieltsspeaking760 on Tue Mar 23 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Sport is one of the most popular draws on television today. Some people argue that the practice of showing sport on television is to blame for the poor health of the young generation by encouraging them to watch rather than partake in physical activity. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and tradition methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In recent years, many governments have brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurents and offices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with banning smoking in public places?

Many people believe that educational standards have declined in recent times, particularly in area of literacy and numeracy. Discuss the causes of this problem and offer some possible solutions to it.