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Band 5

It is some times argued that too many students go to university, while others claim that a university education should be a universal right, Discuss both sides of the argument and give your own opinion.

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It is apparent that education
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 had ab impact on
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that a
student
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 should go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
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,while others say
students
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 can make decisions
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 themself.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides. On the one hand, it
is normalize
Change the verb form
normalizes
show examples
 that many
students
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 who are graduated from school go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
University
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. There are many benefits to learn in
college
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
 some works
people
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 have to graduation before they worked in the workplace
such
Linking Words
 as a doctor, an engineer others job where the company are
requirment
Correct your spelling
required
requirement
.
Secondly
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, a
student
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 will get any information from the major which they choose to learn at the
University
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. It made
student
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 easily find a great job and be good a worker because they get a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
 knowledge from the professor for 4 years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, going to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
University
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 should be their
students
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 right.
People
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 can make decisions that they
are go
Change the verb form
are going
are gone
show examples
 or not. Some
students
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 think that studying in
college
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 ia s
Correct your spelling
waste
wate
Correct article usage
a wate
show examples
 of time because they can get money and experience faster than
students
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 who
are study
Change the verb form
are studying
show examples
 in
college
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
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 think that learning from
read
Change the verb form
reading
show examples
 a book or find
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
data from
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 enough for working.
Therefore
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,
students
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 can save a lot of money and there are budgets to build their dreams come true. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 many
students
Use synonyms
 go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Unversity to find more information and get a good job, some
student
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believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
 it is not
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 main factor that all
students
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 should go the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
University
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, it is their right if they do not want to learn in
college
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.
Students
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 can think the way they want to be in the future from themself, and parents should respect the decisions of their children.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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