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Band 6.5

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many individuals think that interdependency amongst humans is increasing owing to the modern world.
However
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, others take a side of that
people
Use synonyms
 have become less independent with the advent of technology when compared to the past. In my opinion, the interconnectivity between
people
Use synonyms
 is increasing with technological breakthroughs . The aim of
this
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 essay is to discuss the argument with the merits and the demerits of
this
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 debate. On the one hand, there is a broad consensus amongst experts that current technological development
such
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 as the internet, mobile phones and applications have been bringing a revolution in the connection of humans. For
this
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 reason, reaching someone is easier
like
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than
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 never before. With the development of the internet, everyone is interconnecting with each other and as a consequence of it, there is no doubt that the dependency amongst
people
Use synonyms
 is increasing.
For example
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, there are many voluntary work opportunities for travelling and meeting new cultures, which is why cultural convergence can go up amongst societies.
Thus
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, doubtlessly the only thing that amongst
people
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 is physical borders nowadays.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 have assimilated a more individualistic approach in the current time due to the capitalistic world. The material consideration is increased for everyone and the main priority of
people
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 is to afford their fundamental needs
first
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. As a consequence of it,
people
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 have become more competitive and less interconnected since the beginning of the industrial revolution.
For instance
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, the main aim for many individuals is to gain social mobility for
comfortable
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a comfortable
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 life, which is why it can be seen clearly, all the opportunities that are provided in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern times,
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however
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,however
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people
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 ought to take care
for
Change preposition
of
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 themselves as the significant priority and for
this
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reason
Add a comma
,reason
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people
Use synonyms
 have been becoming more independent due to material consideration. To summarize,
although
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 material consideration and competition cause more self-oriented behaviour amongst
people
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, it is important to bear in mind that cutting-edge development has provided a paramount opportunity to connect with each other, which is why the connectivity is increasing exponentially.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interdependence
  • globalization
  • technological advancements
  • collective action
  • digital evolution
  • minimal reliance
  • direct interaction
  • empowered
  • access to technology
  • societal expectations
  • personal choice
  • leverage
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