Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many individuals think that interdependency amongst humans is increasing owing to the modern world.
However
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, others take a side of that
people
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have become less independent with the advent of technology when compared to the past. In my opinion, the interconnectivity between
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is increasing with technological breakthroughs . The aim of
this
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essay is to discuss the argument with the merits and the demerits of
this
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debate. On the one hand, there is a broad consensus amongst experts that current technological development
such
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as the internet, mobile phones and applications have been bringing a revolution in the connection of humans. For
this
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reason, reaching someone is easier
like
Change preposition
than

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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never before. With the development of the internet, everyone is interconnecting with each other and as a consequence of it, there is no doubt that the dependency amongst
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is increasing.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are many voluntary work opportunities for travelling and meeting new cultures, which is why cultural convergence can go up amongst societies.
Thus
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, doubtlessly the only thing that amongst
people
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is physical borders nowadays.
On the other hand
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,
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have assimilated a more individualistic approach in the current time due to the capitalistic world. The material consideration is increased for everyone and the main priority of
people
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is to afford their fundamental needs
first
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. As a consequence of it,
people
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have become more competitive and less interconnected since the beginning of the industrial revolution.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the main aim for many individuals is to gain social mobility for
comfortable
Add an article
a comfortable

The noun phrase comfortable life seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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life, which is why it can be seen clearly, all the opportunities that are provided in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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modern times,
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

however
Add a comma
,however

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase however. Consider adding a comma.

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people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

ought to take care
for
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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themselves as the significant priority and for
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

reason
Add a comma
,reason

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase for this reason. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have been becoming more independent due to material consideration. To summarize,
although
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

material consideration and competition cause more self-oriented behaviour amongst
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, it is important to bear in mind that cutting-edge development has provided a paramount opportunity to connect with each other, which is why the connectivity is increasing exponentially.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interdependence
  • globalization
  • technological advancements
  • collective action
  • digital evolution
  • minimal reliance
  • direct interaction
  • empowered
  • access to technology
  • societal expectations
  • personal choice
  • leverage
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