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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays more people are living by themselves. What are the reasons for this? Will this have a negative or a positive impact on the society?

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In recent years, an increasing number of people have chosen to live alone rather than with family or roommates, primarily
due to
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 the greater independence and flexibility it offers.
While
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this
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 lifestyle may seem appealing, I firmly believe that it has negative long-term consequences for society, particularly in terms of rising social isolation and mental
health
Use synonyms
 issues. One of the main reasons people prefer living alone is the autonomy and personal space it provides. Without the constraints of family expectations or the need to compromise with roommates, individuals can enjoy greater freedom in their daily routines.
Additionally
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, they have complete control over their living environment, allowing them to personalize their homes
according to
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 their tastes.
For example
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, those who have experienced domestic violence or toxic family relationships may choose to live alone as a means of escaping past trauma and fostering emotional well-being.
However
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, despite these perceived benefits, the long-term societal impact of solitary living is concerning. Reduced social interaction can lead to feelings of loneliness, which, over time, may contribute to mental
health
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 issues
such
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 as anxiety and depression. Studies have shown that individuals who live alone are at a higher risk of experiencing emotional distress
due to
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 a lack of daily social support. In Indonesia,
for example
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, research indicates that nearly 30% of suicide cases involved individuals who lived in isolation, highlighting the strong correlation between social disconnection and psychological well-being. In conclusion,
while
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 living alone offers independence and flexibility, its negative effects on mental
health
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 and social cohesion cannot be ignored. If
this
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 trend continues, societies may face increasing levels of loneliness and psychological distress.
Therefore
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, it is essential to promote community engagement and mental
health
Use synonyms
 awareness to mitigate these risks.

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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance the coherence, consider adding transitional phrases between paragraphs or main points to further guide the reader through your arguments.
Task Achievement
Ensure that each main idea is elaborated with multiple perspectives or sub-points, which can help in deepening the analysis.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments. This can provide credibility and make your writing more compelling.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a complete response to the task by addressing the reasons why people live alone and discussing the potential societal impacts. It is effectively structured, covering the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is clear and follows a logical sequence, which helps in maintaining the reader's interest and understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well written, clearly presenting the topic and summarizing the main points of the argument.
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