IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are these problems and how could they be reduced?

#people #levels #violence #films
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It is believed that the high levels of
violence
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 in
films
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 are the root cause of social issues nowadays. Delinquency, thefts, murders are among those
problems
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.
However
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, with the right
strategy
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,strategy
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 the above-mentioned
problems
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 can be resolved. Currently, most of
content
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the content
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 coming from the media contains
a
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apply
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great amount
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violence
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of violence
show examples
. It leads to a number of
problems
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 in
a
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apply
show examples
society.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the number of delinquency is soaring because the lion share of youngsters
are
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is
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 not mature enough to think about the consequences of their actions.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
violence
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 in
films
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 encourages
anti-social
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an anti-social
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 mood and mindset resulting in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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high levels of thefts and murders. A prime example would be action
films
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. It is quite often the main characters in
such
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films
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solve
Correct pronoun usage
who solve
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 their
problems
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 with bare knuckles. Despite the current situation, the
problems
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 are not insurmountable and can be solved with the right plan. Adding lessons of self-control in
school's
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the school's
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 curriculum may prevent many potential acts of
violence
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.
Furthermore
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, if the governments had set as many areas under surveillance as possible, there would have been a lot fewer social
problems
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.
For instance
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, Singapore is one of the safest places to live due to the fact that more than 90% of its' area is constantly monitored, leaving no chance of breaking the law. In conclusion, it is thought that among the causes of social unrest are high levels of
violence
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 in
films
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. Kills, thefts and crime among young people are influenced by
such
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 types of
films
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, but they can be solved with the help of the administration and
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 school programme.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • desensitization
  • empathy
  • aggressive behaviors
  • imitation
  • antisocial behavior
  • normalization
  • climate of fear
  • perceptions
  • mental health
  • aggression
  • emotional regulation
  • trauma-related symptoms
  • age ratings
  • critical viewing skills
  • nonviolent entertainment
  • film industry
  • regulate
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