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Band 6

Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are these problems and how could they be reduced?

#people #levels #violence #films
It is believed that the high levels of
violence
 in
films
 are the root cause of social issues nowadays. Delinquency, thefts, murders are among those
problems
.
However
, with the right
strategy
Add a comma
,strategy
show examples
 the above-mentioned
problems
 can be resolved. Currently, most of
content
Add an article
the content
show examples
 coming from the media contains
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great amount
violence
Change preposition
of violence
show examples
. It leads to a number of
problems
 in
a
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apply
show examples
society.
Firstly
, the number of delinquency is soaring because the lion share of youngsters
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not mature enough to think about the consequences of their actions.
Secondly
,
violence
 in
films
 encourages
anti-social
Correct article usage
an anti-social
show examples
 mood and mindset resulting in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high levels of thefts and murders. A prime example would be action
films
. It is quite often the main characters in
such
films
solve
Correct pronoun usage
who solve
show examples
 their
problems
 with bare knuckles. Despite the current situation, the
problems
 are not insurmountable and can be solved with the right plan. Adding lessons of self-control in
school's
Correct article usage
the school's
show examples
 curriculum may prevent many potential acts of
violence
.
Furthermore
, if the governments had set as many areas under surveillance as possible, there would have been a lot fewer social
problems
.
For instance
, Singapore is one of the safest places to live due to the fact that more than 90% of its' area is constantly monitored, leaving no chance of breaking the law. In conclusion, it is thought that among the causes of social unrest are high levels of
violence
 in
films
. Kills, thefts and crime among young people are influenced by
such
 types of
films
, but they can be solved with the help of the administration and
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 school programme.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • desensitization
  • empathy
  • aggressive behaviors
  • imitation
  • antisocial behavior
  • normalization
  • climate of fear
  • perceptions
  • mental health
  • aggression
  • emotional regulation
  • trauma-related symptoms
  • age ratings
  • critical viewing skills
  • nonviolent entertainment
  • film industry
  • regulate
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