Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical services should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Mental, social, and physical well-being is the most fundamental human right, which means everyone deserves to obtain decent

healthcare

Use synonyms

regardless of their nationalities, ethnicities, and religions.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss why the existence of revenue-oriented companies is resulting in abundant merits,

such

Linking Words

as helping a region to tackle the shortage of medical services, which

overshadow

Correct subject-verb agreement

overshadows

show examples

the downside. There are widespread opinions in society regarding the dangerous effects of capitalism in the health sector and one of them is how private organizations that run medical services solely seek income

instead

Linking Words

of saving lives. Take chronic illness treatment,

for instance

Linking Words

, there is news about how medical practitioners urge

patients

Use synonyms

to undergo expensive operations

instead

Linking Words

of giving cheaper alternatives with fairly similar outcomes.

Consequently

Linking Words

, with the disparity of information,

patients

Use synonyms

agree with the doctors' orders without seeking a second opinion somewhere else, which allows the hospital to get a great amount of earnings from that particular treatment.

Thus

Linking Words

patients

Use synonyms

see the private-owned fitness facility only as a profit seeker and not genuinely based on beneficence.

Nonetheless

Linking Words

, the government would not be able to tackle the shortage of medical

healthcare

Use synonyms

providers

Use synonyms

if private

healthcare

Use synonyms

providers

Use synonyms

ceased to exist.

For example

Linking Words

, during the COVID-19 outbreak in Indonesia, the authority incentivized all types of hospitals from regional to national level and from public to private organization.

As a result

Linking Words

, the number of pandemic cases successfully decreased after two years and the inter-organisational collaboration among

healthcare

Use synonyms

providers

Use synonyms

proves to us that there is no difference between non-profit and for-profit organizations in the eyes of health.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, fitness facilities of private-own companies are the major milestones to improve the citizens' wellness. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

there is a common belief among the communities about how private medical

providers

Use synonyms

neglect

patients

Use synonyms

' wellness for the sake of revenue, they are proven to be very helpful in boosting a country's fitness condition.

Hence

Linking Words

, the upside of private-own medical companies offset the drawback.

pink pantherMon Jan 22 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction with a thesis statement, body paragraphs with a clear topic sentence, supporting sentences with examples or evidence, and a concluding sentence that links back to the thesis.

task achievement

Develop your ideas thoroughly. Aim to present a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument before reaching the conclusion. Show depth in your arguments by expanding on the points made, possibly by including more evidence or exploring implications and complexities of the issue.

coherence cohesion

Take care to write coherent paragraphs by ordering your points logically and using cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas both within and between paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The essay could benefit from a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures.

task achievement

When providing examples, ensure they are detailed and directly related to the point being made, reinforcing your argument effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Your Friend wants to send his/her children to your house for the weekend. Write a letter to him/her and say: - Agree to this arrangement - Say what time is suitable for you - Describe what are you planning to do
I hope this letter finds you in the best of spirits and radiant health. I writing this letter to let you know that I am ready to babysit your wards for this weekend and I would love to spend some quality time with them.
6
band
One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent years, advancements in medical care have had a profound impact on society, leading to increased life expectancy and longer lifespans. While this development undoubtedly brings about a range of benefits, it is essential to consider whether the advantages outweigh the potential disadvantages.
5.5
band
in some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think it is a positive or negative situation?
Citizens of some countries believe that buying a house is more important as opposed to renting it, and there are various reasons for this opinion. I think this circumstance is a positive one.
6.5
band
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In this day and age, the environment is always a hotly debated topic. Some individuals argue that the main environmental issue of our time is the disappearance of many kinds of plants and animals. However, others believe that many other environmental matters are more vital for us to care. The following essay will discuss both views and give my opinion.
5.5
band
Families who do not send their children to government-financed schools should not be required to pay taxes that support universal education. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Families who do not send their children to government-financed school should not be required to pay taxes that support universal education.

Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical services should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Your Friend wants to send his/her children to your house for the weekend. Write a letter to him/her and say: - Agree to this arrangement - Say what time is suitable for you - Describe what are you planning to do

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

in some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think it is a positive or negative situation?

Families who do not send their children to government-financed schools should not be required to pay taxes that support universal education. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.