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Band 6.5

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns. Do more advantages or disadvantages?

#people #countryside #cities #towns
Certain young individuals would rather live in cities and towns
instead
 of the countryside. ı believe that even if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
immigration has not only advantages but
also
 a few disadvantages, the damages are more than benefits.
To begin
 with, there is an array of positive effects. Primarily, the number of literacy shows an increase. Put more simply, young people immigrate depending on lack of education because one of the shortcomings in rural areas is education.
Therefore
, should those prefer to live there to study, the proportion of illiterate will not rise.
Next
,
this
 phenomenon prompts the government.
In other words
, as long as the population increases day by day in the city
center
Change the spelling
centre
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, they can strive to fulfil more the needs of residents
such
 as
health
. Take a country realized to migrate from rural areas to cities as a clear example; the individuals reach prosperity as both the literacy rate and the actions of the state develop.
On the other hand
,
this
 phenomenon is not plus development for a collection of reasons
such
 as financial, cultural,
health
 reasons. The most important reason for financial difficulty.
That is
, the more the number of people living in a town rises the more finding a job would get difficult for individuals and it might contribute to financial difficulties. Equally importantly, it results in
health
 problems. The rate of hospitals and doctors will become insufficient, and it leads to grow
health
 problems or result in death.
Lastly
, it is claimed that those might live cultural conflict
as a result
 of their different upbringing. By way of conclusion,
although
 there are many advantages, the disadvantages are by no means ignore.
Submitted by Ahmet Münir KOCAMAN on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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