You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practice in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. Write a letter to the manager. In the letter: • Describe what the group does • Explain why the group is good for the community • Suggest some alternative days and times for practice

Dear Sir and Madam, I am writing in connection to the possibility of using the hall. I am mah Kar one of the members of the musician group who were practising on Tuesday and Friday evenings in the community hall. The team included 6 instrument players who were playing different string instruments,
such
as sitar and tar.
Although
they have been practising some famous traditional music tracks for the opening part of the national bank anniversary since 1 month ago, unfortunately, they were banned from using
this
hall. Given the fact that
this
group provides a great deal of benefits for the community. Their performance can be soothing a buster and add joy and zest to it.
In addition
,
as a result
of these songs, the community can benefit from a sense of identification, dignity and pride.
As a result
of education meetings were held by teams, and all walks of life were familiar with different music genres.
Finally
, because the opening ceremony is due on 21 June, I,
therefore
, suggest that our practice days and times be rescheduled for the morning on the weekends or other days in order to group perform level best. I look forward to receiving your response. Yours faithfully, Ma Ka
Submitted by kargar.mh1992 on

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task achievement
Your letter provides a clear description of your group and its activities, and you successfully explain the benefits to the community. However, it could benefit from more specific details about the suggested alternative days and times.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is logically structured and easy to follow, but introducing sub-points or bullet points could further enhance clarity. Additionally, the use of transition words and phrases could improve coherence.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing of your letter are appropriately formal and polite, which suits the context well.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph addresses a single idea, making the letter organized and improving readability.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ensemble
  • rehearsal
  • community engagement
  • cultural enrichment
  • public performances
  • diversity
  • inclusivity
  • musical education
  • alternative arrangements
  • schedule compatibility
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