It is suggested that all young adults should undertake a period of unpaid work, helping people in the community. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the young people?

#adults #period #work #people #community

‘

Community’

Correct your spelling

Community

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refers to a group of people living together in a particular area. It is believed by some that to serve

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society

, youngers should join some volunteer jobs.

This

short essay will express full agreement with

this

view and will offer reasons for

this

position.

Although

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apply

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working as a ‘volunteer’ has some negative consequences, because of

utilization

Add an article

the utilization

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of spare time in serving

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

, youngsters are not able to manage their daily schedule,

consequently

, there might be detrimental effects on their own academic results. It seems undeniable that unpaid work provides an opportunity

Change preposition

for

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individuals to explore more about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Additionally

, they become more aware

about

Change the preposition

show examples

the necessities of the surrounding atmosphere

such

as health needs, trash disposals and many others and,

also

implements their skills to improve it. Well-organized campaigns are formulated to explore

society

’s needs and to accomplish them. To exemplify, in one school

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show examples

Mississauga, students start

cleaning

Correct article usage

a cleaning

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program, the vision

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

program is to clean

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public places on the weekends. Another benefit is that it thrives the professional career of the individual who works without cash.

Such

work not only

devise

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devises

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motivational skills

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apply

show examples

but

also

helps to improve their practical skills, as working in a

society

is more practical.

Moreover

, when

any

Correct your spelling

show examples

individual seeks

job

Add an article

a job

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volunteer

Correct article usage

a volunteer

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record makes it more feasible.

For Instance

recruiter

Correct article usage

a recruiter

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hiring for a Personal support worker job, give more preference to the employee with some volunteer work. To sum up, youngers would likely to

be get

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get

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some benefits by working in a charity foundation, as

this

boosts their intellectual and professional abilities

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apply

show examples

unless it is under sufficient time period without having

impact

Add an article

an impact

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on their personal results.

Submitted by jaswinderkaurmahal1993 on Thu Mar 25 2021

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

278 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is suggested that all young adults should undertake a period of unpaid work, helping people in the community. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the young people?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays managers and team leaders in different organizations are much younger compared to the past. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phones (cellphones) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

A"cashless society" is one where people use Debit/Credit cards and other forms of payment instead of cash. Do the advantages of a cashless society outweigh the disadvantages.