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Writing Samples
Band 6

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists.To what extent do you agree?

#scientists #technology #experts #society #musicians #artists
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Some believe that
,
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apply
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scientists and technology experts are given greater value in
contemporary
Correct article usage
the contemporary
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 era than musicians and artists. I totally disagree with
this
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 ,mainly because musicians and artists are the most influential and richest
people
Use synonyms
 in the
world
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.
To begin
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 with, professionals from the arts are very famous and popular individuals.
In other
Linking Words
words
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,words
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 these
people
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 are loved and emulated by society.
For example
Linking Words
, Lady Gaga sang
Correct article usage
the Americas
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Americas
Change to a genitive case
America's
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 national anthem
on
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at
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 the
inaugration
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inauguration
 of
president
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President
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 Joe Biden,recently.
This
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 was a great move
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 entertained and touched the hearts of many since she is an idol. They are
also
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 role models to a lot of
people
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 who want to imitate their lifestyle
such
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 as
type
Correct article usage
the type
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 of dressing.
Therefore
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 these professionals entertain the
world
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 and are of great importance.
Secondly
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, individuals are willing to pay a lot of money to see these icons perform or to join their exhibition.
Such
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 has shown how much credit they are given. Going to Beyonce's show ,
for instance
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, costs a lot of money but
this
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 does not deter fans from attending, because of the love they have for her. By
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this
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these
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 musicians and artists have become one of the richest group
people
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 in every society,
such
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 that they own the most beautiful houses, travel around the
world
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 and wear the most expensive clothes and
jewellary
Correct your spelling
jewellery
.
This
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 is all because of the value that individuals place in them. To sum up, despite science and technology being essential in today's
world
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 , entertainment is still needed
thus
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 why singers and
perfomers
Correct your spelling
performers
 are highly appreciated.
This
Linking Words
 is clearly shown by their lifestyle and
influence
Correct article usage
the influence
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 they have in many societies.
Submitted by maereseratariro on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • valued
  • modern society
  • scientists
  • technology experts
  • musicians
  • artists
  • reliance
  • scientific advancements
  • practical benefits
  • driving economic growth
  • daily lives
  • culture
  • human emotions
  • express ideas
  • provoke thought
  • spiritual well-being
  • emotional well-being
  • preserving cultural heritage
  • subjective nature
  • diversity
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