IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

#parents #children #toys #child
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, parents are gifting plenty of
games
Use synonyms
 to their young ones.
This
Linking Words
 essay will enunciate upon the merits and demerits of having a multitude of toys before reaching an appropriate conclusion. On the one hand, there are many benefits of playing with various hi-tech
games
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the advanced technology toys broaden the horizon within the kids and build their analytical ability. Understanding the functionality of tech gadgets itself is a challenge and assembling them requires a deep understanding.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in the nuclear family, toys help the young ones to keep themselves occupied. Children can pass their
time
Use synonyms
 independently and does not require attention from busy elders.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent survey revealed that the sale of the remote control cars and Barbie set has surged drastically among parents who have one or two kids.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are a couple of shortfalls with spending plenty of
time
Use synonyms
 playing these
games
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, juvenile loses focus on academics. The option of playing with multiple
games
Use synonyms
 always attract them.
This
Linking Words
 leads to a lack of concentration among other activities and especially in academics.
For example
Linking Words
, an article from the principal of the school says that students who are good at leisure activities do not perform up to the mark in the examination.
Further
Linking Words
, children become introverted as they indulge most of their
time
Use synonyms
 in playing individual
games
Use synonyms
. These kids refrain from talking to others as they lack knowledge and feel shy. In conclusion, undoubtedly, advanced learning and investing in quality
time
Use synonyms
 are the major advantage of playing with various types of plaything.
However
Linking Words
, parents should have due cognizance of the
time
Use synonyms
 invested in playful activities and
on the contrary
Linking Words
, grown-ups should invest the
time
Use synonyms
 with their young ones to nurture their hobbies.
Submitted by Nishant Chawda on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: