The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

People hold different views about whether it is necessary to reduce the working
week
in order to lengthen the weekend. In my opinion, I totally agree with
this
statement because of the variety of advantages.
Firstly
, I assume that the shorter working
week
brings employees a work-life balance lifestyle. Indeed,
workers
will have more
time
for their family, pursue personal interests and develop themselves.
For example
, parents will spend free
time
teaching their children to do homework or play with them.
Therefore
, the relationship between parents and children is tightened.
As a result
,
workers
will be recharged enough batteries to back to work and start a new working
week
effectively. Microsoft Japan has taken an experiment allowing the employees to work six hours per day. The result showed a 40% increase in labour productivity and the turnover rate declined.
Furthermore
, I believe that lengthening weekends contributes to improvement in physical and mental health. Working a long day in a long
week
leads to weariness and exhaustion.
Thus
, stress and psychological problems go up rapidly. To cite an example, a company in Vietnam called BBPLUS allows the
workers
to go to work 4 days per
week
then
the company receives a lot of positive feedback from them.
Consequently
, the result evidenced that if employees have more
time
for weekends and less
time
for working, not only motivation is higher, but
also
creativity is enhanced. In conclusion, I strongly believe that shortening working times has huge benefits for
workers
and plays an important role in the development of each business.
Submitted by ng.hg.ly28 on

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General
Your essay is well-structured and covers the main points effectively. To improve further, consider adding more varied sentence structures and complex vocabulary.
task achievement
Ensure that every main point is supported by relevant examples and explanations to make your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Make sure transitions between ideas are smooth to enhance coherence and cohesion. Using a wider range of linking words can help.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task. You have addressed the prompt effectively by discussing the advantages of a shorter working week.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your points, making your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong. Each paragraph flows well from one to the next, and your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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