Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?
it is often argued about the opinion that all
people
should retire at the same age specified by the law. some think that the retirement
rules can not apply to specific jobs
in view of harmful working conditions. employees of such
jobs
have all the justifications to enjoy amenities of earlier retirement
. personally, I support this
idea because, for example
, working in oil and gas plants or mines should be considered as labour conditions causing professional health problems.
first
of all, performing in hazardous areas should be classified as risky jobs
and regulated relatively. during work execution
these Add a comma
,execution
people
experience the negative impact of harmful emissions on their physical and mental health. for example
, the daily regime of 24 hours or night shift with strict responsibilities will surely have a negative effect on elder people
and may result in health problems, such
as heart attack or loss of hearing or seeing. paying attention to this
issue, authorities may develop retirement
rules for this
type of jobs
.
secondly
, working in harmful labour conditions may cause problems related to the fact that elder people
as experienced employees are getting used to the risk and may ignore safety rules that are subject to perform
. Replace the word
performance
this
means that doing the routine activities day and night people
lose concentration and feel confident about their safe work performance. there are a lot of incidents on hazardous plants when experienced people
make human mistakes that cause major circumstances and process upsets including loss of people
and environmental damage.
in conclusion, i
fully agree with the opinion that Change the capitalization
I
people
of specific jobs
should retire at an earlier age, this
will be beneficial for both employees and organizations. moreover
, oil and gas companies have a common practice of programs for voluntary retirement
encouraging elder people
to leave jobs
earlier and paying alluring benefits. i
am confident that Change the capitalization
I
this
practise
should be implemented in every organization.Replace the word
practice
Submitted by dinarabdrasheva on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite