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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bars. To what extent do you agree?

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
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In the modern world,
number
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a number
the number
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 of
people
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 involved in voluntary activities are becoming lesser and lesser every year.
As a result
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, some
people
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 opine that prisoners have to be introduced
in
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to
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such
Linking Words
 kinds of activities, whereas other
people
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 argue in contradiction to the statement. In my opinion, I totally disagree with the statement.
Firstly
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,
people
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 who were involved in anti-social activities should be given appropriate punishments
instead
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 of allowing them in community
services
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 because implementing strict laws on them would help to create awareness in them not to get involved in crimes again.
In addition
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,
this
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 would help to induce fear not only
on
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in
show examples
 the criminals but
also
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on
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in
show examples
 the other
people
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 to prevent from leading a disastrous lifestyle.
For instance
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,
people
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 who were involved in
Delhi
Correct article usage
the Delhi
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 rape case was heavily punished which helped to maintain peace inside the whole country
instead
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 of letting them do unpaid
services
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 which would have encouraged them to do more crimes.
As a result
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 of
such
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 examples, it becomes easier for law enforcement officers to manage the crowd in an efficient manner.
Secondly
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,
instead
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 of compelling them to interact with community
services
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, they should be properly counselled in jail on how they should face the challenges in
life
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 so that they have a better idea
on
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of
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 tackling difficult situations.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 would help them to harvest patience and other good qualities which makes them fit as an individual who could do good things for
the
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apply
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society without paying them
reward
Add an article
a reward
the reward
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.
A
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The
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 best illustration for
this
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 is the story
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of Mr.
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Mr.
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Mr
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 Robert Downey Jr., who later became a Hollywood actor who won Oscars many times. Providing him with positive ideas during his
life
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 behind bars enabled him to
mold
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mould
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 a successful
life
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 and later became part of the community
services
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 as well. To conclude, in my opinion, I completely disagree with the statement and believes that involving
people
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 who had a bad
life
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 has to be prepared well before letting them do unpaid voluntary works and would like to recommend the government to abolish
such
Linking Words
 kinds of laws before proper research on the mentality of these individuals.
Submitted by Ashith on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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