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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

With growing population in cities, more and more people live in a home with small or no outdoor areas. Is it a positive or negative development？

#population #cities #people #home #areas #development？
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More and more
people
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 are eager to live in
cities
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 for the benefits of career prospects and
life
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 convenience. Excessive population in
cities
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 have created no satisfying
space
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 for improving
life
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 quality. In my opinion, in the long term, it is a negative
development
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 for
people
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 to live in a home without enough
space
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 or no balcony or outdoor area. In general,
people
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 believe that they will be more successful by moving to a city, especially fresh graduates. They are attracted by modernization
development
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. Developed
cities
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 boost economic growth, career opportunities and have good infrastructures. It is a positive
development
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 if we talk about the city aspect.
However
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, the disadvantages include the competitive environment and long-hour working time leads
people
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 to have no time to enjoy self-
space
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 daily. “Home” has a new definition similar to a hotel which is a place only for basic needs. As the rental prices vastly increase,
people
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 find a decent quality of
life
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 as usual.
For instance
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, in Japan and Hong Kong,
people
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 live in home-like capsules which only provide a
space
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 for a bed and a shared bathroom. These kinds of
life
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 are not only squeezing
people
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’s mental energy and
life
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 flexibility but
also
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 can cause mental health problems. In recent years, the suicide rate and
people
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 suffering from depression have greatly increased in primary
cities
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. The home not just for a rest but is an important
space
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 for self-circulation and recharging. To conclude, I think that
people
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 deciding to live in a small home without natural light or outdoor area in a densely populated city would bring different levels of negative
development
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 for individuals from different age groups.
Submitted by janetchen1908 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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