IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #scale
Nowadays, environmental condition is a huge concern globally. It is believed by some people that
this
 could be solved at
international
Correct article usage
an international
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 forum
whereas
 other
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 that
this
 detrimental effect should be resolved
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nationwide. I believe that major causes of environmental
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 can
solve
Wrong verb form
be solved
show examples
 by global leaders and minor causes by the authorities at the national level. First of all,
contributing
Correct article usage
a contributing
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 factor to environmental
condition
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conditions
show examples
 is global
warning
Correct your spelling
warming
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.
In other words
, various diseases
as well as
 climate
concern
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concerns
show examples
 occur owing to
detrimental
Correct article usage
the detrimental
show examples
 effects of
this
. One clear example,
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
in
Change preposition
that
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 India, well known in the field of agriculture, has been dropping production of crops
from
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for
show examples
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 10 years
due to
 soil erosion which
happen
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happens
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due to
 deforestation.
Hence
,
economy
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the economy
show examples
 showed pitfalls because of
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
export
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exports
show examples
.
Furthermore
, local bodies should reduce
such
issue
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issues
show examples
 by imposing strict rules and regulations. Recently,
United
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the United
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 nation,
global
Correct article usage
the global
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 head of
environmental
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the environmental
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 crisis management team, has allocated
fixed
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a fixed
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 budget to control problems related to
environment
Add an article
the environment
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such
 as
construct
Wrong verb form
constructing
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 a bridge without
affect
Wrong verb form
affecting
show examples
forests area
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forest areas
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 and
for
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apply
show examples
many other concerns.
On the other hand
, there are
few
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a few
show examples
 major problems
of
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in
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 towns and cities which could
solve
Wrong verb form
be solved
show examples
 by either local municipal or administration
department
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departments
show examples
. Currently,
construction
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the construction
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 of buildings and
establishment
Correct article usage
the establishment
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 of new factories creating
biggest
Correct article usage
the biggest
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 problem which directly imbalance our environment.
For instance
, people migrate towards metro
city
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cities
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 for their better jobs and, for higher studies
then
Rephrase
apply
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they require accommodation and builders
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
vanish plants and make flat land for horizontal or vertical apartments.
Additionally
, drainage
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 should
also
 responsible for acute diseases like Malaria, Dengue which is
also
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
. In conclusion, major environmental problems,
such
 as global
warning
Correct your spelling
warming
show examples
 could only be
handle
Wrong verb form
handled
show examples
 by Senior leaders on
global
Correct article usage
the global
show examples
 platform
whereas
 local bodies would resolve minor concerns like drainage , permission for construction and industry.
Submitted by Arpit on

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task response
Provide a more balanced argument by giving equal weight to both sides of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing a stronger and clearer introduction and conclusion to the essay.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international cooperation
  • sovereign rights
  • Paris Agreement
  • climate change
  • ocean pollution
  • collective measures
  • economic interests
  • political will
  • enforcement issues
  • free-riders
  • tailor-made solutions
  • transboundary pollution
  • resource constraints
  • global frameworks
  • national efforts
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