IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that there are many reasons that can motivate a person to keep working for the same company whereas others say that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree

#people #person #company #money #reason
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While some are on the view that monetary value is the reason to motivate a person to have a
longer
Replace the word
long
show examples
career
 in a
company
, others believe that
this
 is not the only reason. I strongly agree
to
Verify preposition usage
with
show examples
 the fact that money is not the only motivator for an individual to have
continuous
Add an article
a continuous
show examples
career
 in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
one
company
. The majority of the current global workforce contains millennials who have different values, and expectations when it comes to their careers.
Firstly
, quick
career
 progression is something that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employees
 seek when joining a
company
. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, earlier days saw people staying for a longer time in one
company
 since the job was something that they did to cover their basic needs
such
 as food, water and housing.
Furthermore
, The current workforce who are smart and highly
knowledgable
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
show examples
 always explore the possibility of quick growth coupled with rewards and recognition to motivate them to stay in a
company
 for a longer time.
In addition
 to
this
,
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 global job market possess endless opportunities where people can switch in different places very quickly if the required attributes are not visible in the
company
 Work-life balance is another biggest motivator for the
employees
 in a
company
.
To begin
 with,
employees
 always measure if the job that they are doing can have
work-life
Correct article usage
a work-life
show examples
 balance with their family members.
For instance
,
working
Correct article usage
the working
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 from home option,
flexi
Correct your spelling
flexible
Flexi
 working hours can be very vital for an organization to implement if they want
employees
 to stay for
a longer periods
Correct the article-noun agreement
a longer period
longer periods
show examples
 in their
career
 since
employees
 see these aspects as opportunities given to them that the
company
 is always considering the well-being of their
employees
.
Finally
, the global pandemic which the world faced during the
last
 year opened many eyes of the employers to rethink about their strategies
interms
Correct your spelling
in terms
 of how they want to run
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 offices for something
unforseen
Correct your spelling
unforeseen
 by many. In conclusion, it is evident that the current workforce doesn't get motivated by money to stay in the same
company
 for a longer period, whereas they explore many avenues to maintain
worklife
Correct your spelling
work-life
work life
 balance as a reason to stay loyal to one
company
.
Submitted by suhithakarunanayake on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Motivation
  • Stability
  • Career progression
  • Advancement opportunities
  • Work environment
  • Work culture
  • Align with values
  • Benefits
  • Perks
  • Job satisfaction
  • Engaging
  • Challenging
  • Fulfilling
  • Colleagues
  • Relationships
  • Company loyalty
  • Ethos
  • Personal investment
What to do next:
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