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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Sport is one of the most popular draws on television today. Some people argue that the practice of showing sport on television is to blame for the poor health of the young generation by encouraging them to watch rather than partake in physical activity. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#sport #television #people #practice #health #generation #activity
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Usually having specific
rules
 and
laws
 is
must
Correct article usage
a must
show examples
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
ensure equity in the
society
, and leaving them to the choice of individuals is not a good sign. I totally agree with
this
 statement and the benefits of having standard procedures are always advantageous in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
social
life
. Implementing
uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
 civil code helps the administration to take actions
accordingly
 without any discrepancies, which in return makes
people
’s
life
 easier. A major reason is that if standard
rules
 and
laws
 apply to all, everyone will follow the same procedure.
This
 makes
people
’s
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 better in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society
. If we take an example of traffic
rules
, when there are no
rules
,
people
 might end up
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
jumping signals, driving in
wrong
Add an article
the wrong
a wrong
show examples
 way, drunk and drive, exceeding the speed limit and many more. They lead to accidents, problems
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 others and sometimes themselves too. So if we have
laws
 to abide
, out
Change preposition
by, out
show examples
 of fear and responsibility
people
 will follow the standard norms.
Secondly
,
it
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
laws
 are followed they reduce
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rate and damage done to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. If we don’t have judicial
laws
, criminals will take over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 and cause
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of damage to
life
Correct article usage
the life
show examples
 and property of the
people
. So having
such
laws
 implemented, helps to make that
society
 a better place and create
safe
Add an article
a safe
show examples
 environment in the vicinity. To conclude,
society
Add an article
a society
show examples
 based on
rules
 and
laws
 is very essential for well being of every individual. It
also
 helps to standardize the living style and increase their responsibilities towards others. Having criminal
laws
 promote the administration to create a safer environment
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
people
.
Submitted by ieltsspeaking760 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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